The phrase , I Love You Forever is so FUCKING overrated .

thats all i have to say .

goodnight everyone .

boo ? :D
now trying to download audi season 2 ! D;
isaac is teaching me .
so hard . -.-

lmao . :X
okays fine , im BLUR can ? D:
haha .

today had bio SPA ( Science Practical Assessment ) !!
i was thinking of lots of other things while doing it lahs . -.-
i almost forgot to turn on th FUCKING stop watch !
if i forgot hor , whole experiment fail . -.- .
kns .

lmao .

and th thing that had been troubling me th whole day was , what happened on 22 sept 2008 ?!
when i was writing the date for some letter writing crap , tch ask us write 22 oct .
then i accidentally writw 22 sept.
then i look look look , th date like got something happen.
then i ask rosi , she say she dont know .
then i was like , wondering about it th whole day lahs . -.-
i was listening to I Wanted You by Ina on th way home .
its such a sad break up song lah .

lately i've been thinking about what I can do ,
i've been stressing to fall back in love with you .
i'm so sorry that i couldn't follow through .
but i can't go on this way. i've got to stop it.
you've been wonderful in all that you can be ,
but it hurts when you say that you understand me .

I've been pushing hard to open up the door .
tryna take us back to where we were before ,
but i'm done i just can't do this anymore .
cause we can't be mending so lets stop pretending now .
we've been walking round in circles for some time ,
and i think we should head for th finish line , so believe me , i am sorry .

and i bet th guy , if there actually is a guy is feeling DAMN horrible .
esp the , i wanted you .
the freaking . 'ED ! ' its so mean ..
D:
how can love just fade like that ?
i just dont understand . -.-
i used to LOVE this song in june .
cause i kinda felt like that then .
now i.. i dont know . this song just hurts me .

anw , after that song , was I Believed by Mellisa Smith.
then i suddenly rmb 22sept is what .
i found out he was twotiming me that day .
-.-
then cause of that song , i started to think back to june .
regretted many things in june lahs .
i regretted one thing in march also .
ONE FUCKING THING .
I SHOULD HAVE JUS LOGGED OFF MAPLE THAT FUCKING DAY ,
AND I WOULDN'T BE FEELING LIKE THIS NOW .
ONE ONE SIMPLE MISTAKE.
zz . -.-
my GODD .
AAGH . D:
anw , i was like thinking like crap .
i wanna turn back time .
turn time back to the day i came back from aus .
seriously ,
or maybe not .
turn back to the day AFTER i came back from aus .
13june2008 . -.-
and i regret 13march2008 also .
most ppl probably wont know why .
i think NO ONE knows why .
and even if they do , they wont know whats th date for .
idk why but i rmb dates really clearly .
and i rmb lots of things that ppl dont care about too .
idk why .
they're just stuck in my head .
thus , i know when you are lying to me about the past , i just didnt say anything. - glares at desmond . -
i rmb everything clearly .
dont bother lying okays . :D
and i can find out things very easily .
ask anyone . th person you least suspect may have lotsa info about you .
and i know them all .
:D
you should've known that alr .
and you should've known better than to lie .
i know many things you think i dont know . ( not just those few i smsed you about th other day )
and i'm so damn fucking disappointed.
its okay .
we're over anw , so whats th use ?
:D
and , break up must anyhow scold me meh ?
cannot be friends uh ?
lmao .
we were friends before right .

andd , GRATS DAMIEN FOR GETTING 9.1 FOR TH STUPIDDD BIO SPA .
you cant call me mean anymore ! :D
see , i'm so happy for you . :P
i post big big somemore .
HAHAHAH . :D

and bryan FINALLY smsed me . -.-
finally not pissed alr ?
lmao .

AND NOTE : I'M NOT WITH JUN LA. JIBAI .
-.-
everyone keep SPAMMING my buddy .
so lemme make it clear here . :D
he likes someone else too . :D

TIME TO MAPLEE .
later then audi .
AUDI SEASON 2 LOOKS DAMN NICE LA DEY . <33 .
okays , bye people . :D

hellos ppl . :D
lmaos . :X
okok , time to update about ytd . :D

and jus incase some people anyhow read my post ytd ,
the NUER was talking to in my post is MILO nuer not MELL .
so mai anyhow think , i not talking about YOU and your DARLING , okay ? .

anyways ,
ytd was so stupid .
cause right , we actually went out cause damien go collect his game at orchard.
then sun bian go there lorh :D
we planned to meet at 11.30 at orchard mrt .
thens cause of miscommunication , rosi and kimmy met at EUNOS at 11.30 .
lmaos ?
then cause my dad send me to taka in th car , i reached taka at 11.30 , instead of th mrt station .
LOL .
then i made damien come and bring me to shaw to buy th hsm3 tickets.
i forgot how walk rights. -.-
then damien keep scaring me by saying dno what dark alley then got ppl waiting to kill me , blablabla.
diao ?
-.-
asshole .
then we walked to shaw , and bought th tickets.
and so embarrassing okay .
we had to waste time to call rosi they all cos we dno what time .
LOL .
then we waited for them for awhile , then they reached th cinema there . :D
then we went to far east plaza to eat mogu mogu kitchen , or however to spell that place . -.-
rosi and damien were so kuku .
chanting th numbers of their orders .
lmaos !
hahas .
me and kimmy were taking random pictures .
and after we ate, rosi made weird food with the remaining rice !
and it looked nice okay . -.-
LMAOS .

then we went to far east plaza to walk around .
THEN SAW SCARY PPL IN MASKS.
i got a shock and ran behind damien and grabbed his shoulder .
LMAO .
rosi did th same thing to kimmy.
WTF.
so scary . -.-

then after awhile , we went to watch HSM3.
the movie is SO nice . D:
i cried all tgt 3 times . D:
one time is when zac and vanessa were sitting at th treehouse .
suddenly make me think of him.. zzzzzz . -.-
then the song was like , can you imagine , what would happen if we could have any dream . i'd wish this moment was ours to own it and that it would never leave .
D:
and i was supposed to watch this movie with him lo .
oh well , too bad for me . :D
he is currently with the person i hate the most in maplesea . -.-
blahs. :D
then i also cried at th part where zac was at th stanford uni .
on th tree waiting for her .
so touching .
so nice .
i wish my life was like that .
D:
take my hand, take a breath, pull me close and take one step. keep your eyes locked on mine, and let the music be your guide.
hey , dont blame me .
i guess damien is right , i DO want my life to be like a fairytale .
fairytales always have happy endings .
who doesn't want happy endings ?
and actually , high school musical is enough of a fairytale for me .
watching troy and grabriella makes me jealous like fuck .
why cant my life be like their's ?
no matter what they still love each other and are still with each other .
you can seriously see LOVE lahs .
D:

and and th last part , all 3 of us cried , me kimmy and rosi .
DAMIEN WAS STILL LAUGHING LIKE A FREAKING MONKEY . -'-
D:
he kept making fun of zac !
BUT I STOLE HIS JACKET.
SO HE WAS COLD TH WHOLE MOVIE.
and his jacket has my tears.
YAY . :D
and rosi's tears too !
haha ! :D
then we were th LAST to leave th place .
:D
and i wore damien's jacket all the way to far east plaza again .
cause it was raining .
so cold . -.-
but his jacket so LONG .
makes me look like i not wearing shorts . -.-
dammit. D:
MY MOM DONT LET ME GET EXTENTIONS .
SHE SAY WASTE MONEY .
WALAOS . -'-
D:
i everyday beg her , she say , no no no and no . -.-
kns ! D:

anyways , aft we walked around , we went to the halloween place.
ALL THE SCARY MASKED PPL WERE THERE.
i didnt scream anymore tho . :X
BUT ROSI SCREAMED WHEN WE WERE GOING OUT.
HAHAHAHA.
:D
lol .
:D
i purposely write BIGBIG. :D
YAY ME . :P
HAHAS .
:DD

ANYWAY , HSM 3 ROCKS .
WATCH WITH YOUR GOOD FRENS OR STEAD !
MUST !
:D



and ,
THANK YOU JUN .
YOU MADE MY DAY BY TELLING ME THAT .
HAHAHAHA .
i'm so FUCKING high now .
dont believe ask xinyi .
LOL .
i was like , screaming over th phone to her .
HAHAHA . :D
WAHAHHAAH .
WAHAHAHAHAHA
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA . ;D

YAYS ! :D

and bryan is damn fucking cold to me lahs .
idk what i do also . -.-
second time alr , i HATE ppl getting pissed with me for NO reason .
angry just TELL ME LAH .
D:

sianed . -.-

okay , time to audi and maple !
so many things to do , so little time !
and sorry for not posting ytd's pics .
NO TIME !
:/
bye people . MAYBE later i update and post .


你离开, 我还在 . ♥

TODAY WATCHED HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3. :D

LOL .
watched with rosi , kimmy and damien .
i was like crying from th start of th movie lahs . -.-
):

anw , i'll update th others TMR .
cause i'm going to maple now . ._.
anw , thank you damien for lending me your jacket.
LOLS .
:D

bb ppl . :D

bitch + bastard = perfect couple , la nuer . :D
rmb that .
okays , byes . :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIOBU!
wahahaha.
finally you have hp liao .
can sms me ! :D
ily chiobu . :3


boos .
today went for some
5km run thingy . o.o
damn stupid . -.-
had stomach ache . __
but still ran .
ran from SUNTEC ( wtf la . i see suntec alr sad ) .
run run run .
until F1 track .
then
ESPLANADE.
WHATTHEFUCK.
INSIDE TH ESPLANADE THERE LEH .
._.
then moment i turn into th esplanade ,
i stopped running .
no mood .
i just felt like crying again . ._.
then i jus walked.
and watched ppl run pass me.
laughing with their frens .
looking so happy.
will i ever be that happy again ?
i dont know , actually .
hais . TT .
then pass th esplande is alr 4.5km .
then i just walked to th finishing thr.
bo mood alr . -.-
then aft that met mummy at th ending .
went into dont know whose club and bath .
SO HARD TO WEAR SKINNIES IN THAT KIND OF SHOWER LAH . ._.
SO WET THE FLOOR . __
LIKE CAMP SIA . ._.
thens , went to church .
and cried during worship .
wtf is wrong with me.
i keep crying every where i go now a days .
dammit . -'-
imissyoulahwtf
then was listening to that chinese song isaac sent me.
makes me emo . :D
so nice .
although i dont understand much , i still love that song . :D

thens went to parkway .
went into ajisen ramen (HAHA EVELYN) and saw jasper and steph and their parents.
then combined table and sat with them.
then smsed rosi .
met her .
then talk to her awhile , then went to borders , then bought a cash .
then went into borders again .
then i was smsing damien like , th whole day rights.
then he suddenly say he in parkway .
at first i dont believe .
LOL .
then he said he at food court .
with his parents .
zz .
ass.
i ask him come out , he dont want . ._.
then aft i go home ,
THEN HE CALL ME TO GO PARKWAY AGAIN.
and rosi was with him also .
lmaos .
unfair cans ?
D;
anw , i bet he was wearing that same eye shirt. :P
lmaos . :D

then went home , and bought new audi clothes <3
and some maple clothes . :X

WHEN I ON MAPLE.
they all dont want let me off .
yays , i got frens play maple alr . :D
mell , angel , milo , jun , chiobu , twinnie , daddy and sofa . :D
but when i want audi my nuers dont let . ._.
lmao ? -.-
now off liao , cause they all off .
LOL . finally !
hahahahahs . :X

& jun is such an idiot . ._.
he suddenly talk to mell's pet monkey , melly.
he was like what , darling , tonight , dont know what lah .
then i was like , pathetic luh jun , get horny with monkey sia .
then he was like , sara no hair lah .
then i said , you see before ?
then he said , yes leh , you strip infront of me before .
then i said , i think is you no hair lo .
then he said , you want see ? YOU WANT SEE ?
then i said , i see alr leh . :D
LOL .
then he was like , sara brought condom to sch and use with her tcher .
then i said , no leh . you forgot uh . i use with you leh .
then he said , no , i still virgin leh .
then i said , no leh , you lose to me .
then he said , then you lose to who ?
then i said , i lose to...
then he said , me lah
then i said , kns . who want lose to you . shameless.
then he said , you lo .
zzz -.-
retard.
lmaos .
now waiting for that STUPID ASSHOLE isaac to finish his STUPID dinner to pei me audi . ._.
LMAOS .
SPEAKING OF HIM , imma go his hse with xinyi to play ps3 soon .
:3
yays .
WE'RE GONNA SHOOT PROSTITUDES IN GTA4 .
LMAOS . ;D
we're naming th prostitudes aft ppl that we hate from audi .
anyhow scold .
like damn big fuck sia . ._.
audi is worse than maple siol!
but nvms . :D
i in audi also damn anti-social de.
dont like making frens.
not like in maple. :X
okok .
i need go liao .
cause , my DADDDIEEE , is bugging me to audi with him!
YES , ISAAC IS BACK . -.-
TIME TO AUDI .

UPDATE LATER , MAYBE . ;D

ithasbeen3weeks. dammit . whywhywhywhywhyyy , WHY does this have to happen. why cant we just go back to how we were . fuck love, seriously .

anw , ytd spent about , $340 on 6 shirts and 1 shorts !
byes!

happy birthday to me . (:

thank you , isaac di , evelyn , rosiana , kimmy , bryan gan laogong , xinyi MUMMAYEEE :D , shane , zhixiong , zhan qing ( if we were still tgt today was supposed to be our 1 yr . LOL . too bad. :X ) jacq , sukhpreet , andrew kor , gerald , ravin , desmond , yiting , wonjae , francesca jie , aloysius , heeren , johnny daddy and others for wishing me happy birthday.

had a bad morning .
cried on my birthday . ):


update later . gtg eat now . cya .

imissyou .








/ UPDATE .

just back from buffet dinner . o.o .
lols .
gahhh .
hardly ate anything.
so full.
haha.
xinyi and damien was pestering me about the food.
jealous ? :D
hahas .

anyways
so stupid okay .
when i was going back in the car ,
i was listening to music.
then th lines :

did it happen when we first kissed, cause its hurting me to let it go , maybe cause we spent so much time and i know its no more. i should've never let you hold me baby. Maybe why i'm sad to see us apart. i didn't give to you on purpose. can't figure out how you stole my heart.

played. RIGHT WHEN MY DAD WAS DRIVING PASS THE FUCKING ESPLANADE.
then i cried right there.
-.-


okok . nights.
update TMR.

and, thank you damien ang chuin yeong for trying to help me forget desmond.
try harder please.
still haven't forget him
but thanks anyway.

ahhh.
iloveyou. whatthefuckiswrongwithme. whycantijustforgetyou.
FUCKTHISWORLD.

This goes out to someone that was
Once the most important person in my life
I didn’t realize it at the time
I can’t forgive myself for the
way I treated you so
I don’t really expect you to either
It’s just.. I don’t even know
Just listen.

You’re the one that I want, the one that I need
The one that I gotta have just to succeed
When I first saw you, I knew it was real
I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel

That wasn’t me. let me show you the way
I looked for the sun, but it’s raining today
I remember when I first looked into your eyes
It was like God was there, heaven in the skies

I wore a disguise 'cause I
didn’t want to get hurt
But I didn’t know I made everything worse
You told me we were crazy in love
But you didn’t care when push came to shove

If you loved me as much as you said you did
Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit
Now you pushed me away like
you never even knew me
I loved you with my heart, really and truly

I guess you forgot about the
times that we shared
When I would run my fingers through your hair
Just lying in your arms
I don’t know how I could do you so wrong

I really wanna show you I
really need to hold you
I really wanna know you like no
one else could know you
You’re number one, always in my heart
And now I can’t believe that
our loves torn apart

I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you

I know you gonna sit and play
this with your new girl
And then sit and laugh as you’re holding her hand
The thought of that just shatters my heart
It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart

At times we was off I was scared to show you
Now I wanna hold you until I can’t hold you
Without you, everything seems strange
Your name is forever planted in my brain

Damn it, I’m insane,
Take away the pain
Take away the hurt
Baby, we can make it work

What about when you
Looked into my eyes
Told me you loved me
As you would hug me
I guess everything you said was a lie
I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes
Now I’m not even a thought in your mind
I can see clearly, my love is not blind
I just wish everything could
have turned out different
I had a special feeling about you
I thought maybe you did too
You would understand, but…
No matter what, you’ll always be in my heart
You’ll always be my baby

Our first day, it seemed so magical
I remember all the time that I had with you
Remember when you first came to my house?

We hit it off, I knew it was real
But now I can’t take all the pain that I feel
Reach in your heart, I know I’m still there
I don’t wanna hear that you no longer care

Remember the times? Remember when we kissed?
I didn’t think you would ever do me like this
I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depressed
I thought you’d be there for me, this I confess

You said you'd love me forever, was that a lie?
Now I’m nothing to you, you’re with another girl.
I tried, I tried, I tried, and I’m trying
Now on the inside it feels like I’m dying

And I do miss you
I just thought we were meant to be
I guess now, we’ll never know
The only thing I want is for you to be happy
Whether it be with me, or without me
I just want you to be happy


and i mean it .
i mean this whole fucking post from th bottom of my heart. ):

first thing , KIMMY SAT NEXT TO A HOT GUY IN THE BUS AND WAS COMPLETELY SMUG ABOUT IT.
that ass . D;



second thing ,

Don't try to cover up your new flame
I can see it from 10 feet away and I know
Just who is burning for.
With every kiss you deny
So what makes you think, that I
Still care or still want you anymore ?
So how long has this been
Going on and one more thing tell me
Was she the reason you stomped on my heart
And moved on so quickly ?
You can call it pure torture
Watching your every move with her
Oh, just the thought of it,
Knowing what goes on between you and her
Makes me sick
When she came into the picture
You were always with her
And she's not leaving.
You called me darling,
And now she's your baby
She drove you over,
Over to break it off
And this time just maybe
Maybe you went a little far .

and maybe, I JUST DON'T CARE.

yes, maybe i don't. (:


ANYWAYS , about today . (:

WE HAD TO GO ST PATS TO APOLOGISE.
SO FUNNY.
me and kimmy.
plus 6 other boys i think.
lets see.. who uh . ._.
michael , junyong , kewen , jeremy , zhaoqing and antonio.
ya.
hahahaha.
KEWEN AND JEREMY HAD TO LEAD.
omfgomfomfg.
kewen apologised in CHINESE.
when he was rehearsing , i was like , eh why chinese sia , you can understand what you saying or not ?
then michael said , OF COS HE UNDERSTAND LA.
then i said , YOU UNDERSTAND MEH?
he was like, no. LOL .
hahaha.
and he couldn't find th sakae sushi in tm . :3
then the whole thing damn funny sia.
jeremy kept singing some weird song.
then they all , die liao die liao . kena canning liao .
LOL
hahahha.
then junyong DAMN act cute . hahaha.
keep making me laugh.
LOL .
hahahaha.

okok . tmr then update.
now doing bio , sexual reproduction .
LOL . wtf.
SO FUNNY THE VIDEO.
STUPID LEAD.
HAHAHAH.
OKOKOKOK.
BYEBYE :D

NOTE : th lyrics i post in my blog now a days are usually edited by me .
as in , i add words , and remove words to suit my liking .
so don't take th lyrics as it is . unless i post th whole lyrics , like copy and pasted from th webbie . then i will place th name of th song on top . if not i wont . if i post like.. parts of it , like i usually do now , its probably not all correct .

& if you want to know th song title ask me .

P.S. changed audi ign , if you want to know , ask me .

yo . :D
just came back .
from collecting NEWSPAPERS .
LOLLL .
it was fun .
:D
we were crapping like mad.
LOL .
CIP 3 HRS. :D YAYS. :X
SO FUN OKAY . :DD
OGOMGOMG. GOT ONE TIME SO FUNNY OKAY.
we were supposed to give out fliers and talk to th ppl about recycling also lah .
then at one hse.
this boy open the door.
then we ask him for newspapers.
then he went into th room or something to take lah.
then i say , what if he is henglin . LOL.
then we laugh like siao .
then we take th newspaper and forgot to give him the fliers.
then i ran back.
LOL.
SO PAISEH.
ahahahahha.
stupid la he.
watching tv . ._.
i think he sec3 or something. LOL .

wahahaa. :D
today was really fun . :D
YES, EVEN WITHOUT YOU DAMIEN.
HA!
that stupid damien nvr come sch, for 3 days .
speaking of th devil .
he just smsed me.
wth .
SO SCARY.
i type his name then suddenly got sms from him.
LOL .
:D

ANYWAY , HERE ARE SOME PICTURES.
NOT IN ORDER
:P.


MUAHAHAHA . kiss me . {: muacks . :D
AWWW, pathetic little evelyn . :X sitting there guarding newspapers. hahaha . :D
yo . :D those are th SECOND set of newspaper we collected . {:
IN MRS'S FONG'S CAR. SO SQUASHEDD . D; and eve kicked me out of th car in sch . LITERALLY. meanie . D;
NOT FAIR RIGHT. kimmy sitting there . SO COMFORTABLE . zz . D;
THIS WAS DURING PC LESSON LAST WEEK. read carefully . hahahaha. :D EVELYN WROTE THAT. use two condoms?! whats wrong with you , woman! use GREEN TEA LUH . ;DD
SEEEE. SO SWEET RIGHT. and he better mean it. he better not break his promise . unlike SOME other guys . ._. if he breaks eve's heart i'll break every other part of him . :P
THAT LOOKS SO WRONG. BUTT SEX, MUCH ? tsk , kimmy and rosi . ._.

FIRST SET OF NEWSPAPER. :DDD. wahaha .
SO HEAVY BODOHHHH .


wahahaha.
LOL . :D

THREE MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY.
sigh . D;
REMEMBER PRESENTS.
but.. i only want one thing though..
one person to be specific.
OH WELL.
he's taken.
too bad . ._.
OKAYS , DONT WANT TO THINK BOUT IT ANYMORE.

update : 8 cpls break up alr .

DONT WORRY BRYAN.
WE CAN EMO TGT. :D

okays , BYE . :D
update later . {:

today was retarded . ._.
pe was damn stupid.
cause all the stupid boys wanted to go to th field.
SO MUDDY . ._.
sheesh . D;
then we girls had to suffer.
i kept running from th ball . ._.
all wet.
ew ew ew.
BUT THEY STILL THREW TO ME.
wthells . D;
then after awhile,
me and jacq stood there and talked about audi.
ohohoh , during PE , cynthia was like , " omg, evelyn are you mad? sheesh , is this what happens when you have a boyf ? "
then i said, " YA. YOU SEE SHE SIAO ALR! "
then they both were about to say something but i cut them off, " I NO BOYF HOR. RMB. "
LOL . then evelyn closed her mouth . {:

WAHAHA. :D
audi . <3.
thinking of changing name again . :D
ehhs , th audi acc , can change username or not uhs ?
o.o. lols , random . :X

then during bio , ms lenny was talking about SPA . t
hen she said , after SPA then she will go to sexual reproduction.
then th whole class turn to me.
expecting me to say something.
diuu .
kimmy and rosi also not thr.
say what sai. D;
lols . :x

TODAY EVELYN DAMN HORNY OKAY.
she was trying to get her boyf horny too . {:
but he dont want.
HAHAHAHAHA.
damn funny lorh .
but i shall not post th smses.
later ppl read then get horny . {:
wahahaha. :D

today was chem o lvls . o.o
lalalas. ;D
was going to class to meet xinyi aft physics ,
but them , bumped into ravin and zhixiong.
then me and eve talked to them and ask xinyi come.
LOLS .
then zhixiong was obsessing about th periodic table, erection thingy.
._.
kaos. D;
not i say de lo!
LOL .
eve anyhow de.
i didnt say anything.
today i so innocent.
nvr say anything horny . {:
or not really lah .
only abit . ._.
then before zhixiong into th hall for th o lvls, i shouted, EH WAIT! SHE WANT GIVE YOU GOOD LUCK KISS!
LOL . then evelyn was like, WHAT LAH?!
hahahaha . {:
but they never kiss . ._.
evelyn say what, councilor then cannot , blablabla. as if lorh. D;
i see people making out in sch before okays . :P
LOL . ;D


Tell me what makes her so much better than me (so much better than me)
What makes her just everything I can never be
What makes her your every dream and fantasy
Because I can remember when it was me

That made you smile
That made you laugh
Me that made you happier than you have ever been, oh me
That was your world
Your perfect girl
Nothing about me has changed
That's why I'm here wondering

And now you don't feel the same
I remember you would shiver everytime I said your name
You said nothing felt as good as when you gaze into my eyes
Now you don't care I'm alive
How did we let the fire die

and I'm not jealous, no I'm not
I just want everything she's got
you look at her so amazed
I remember way back when you used to look at me that way


blahs . D;

could not eat today .
for lunch i bought a 2 piece chicken meal from kfc ,
all i ate was one piece of chicken and one spoon of mashed potatoes . ._.
no fucking appetite.
whatthefucccccckkkkkkkkkk. D;
imyimyilyimyimy. D:

it
has
been
two
weeks
since
you
left
me.

and i still miss you.

lol. damien.
just so you know, she didn't steal him from me.
he was never mine to begin with.
and yes, i'm an idiot for just realising that.
and yes, i've been wasting all these months on someone that doesn't love me, and now i'm too pathetic to even move on.
thanks for knocking some sense in my head.
i needed a punch and slap to wake up.
and though i'm not fully awake yet, i'm working on it.
i'm not giving up.
so ANYWAY, thank you damien.
and this is probably the FIRST and LAST time i will thank you . ;D

here, past all the light , for everythings clear, nothing seems to change how i love you and now you're gonna leave , i'm just slowly dying here inside, trying to let go.
maybe i just thought i had you here. i thought that you would not go anywhere . i abused my position and i didn't care. now that you no longer turn to me and it seems that you got over me, i can hardly breathe, you no longer need me..
i'm just sorry i found out late, all the choices i made, i thought of me and not how it'd be to watch you walk away. i know i'll never make it right, but everyday i try
in hopes you might come back, your where my hearts at. have to find a way..



ily. ):

if only you saw what i actually posted on th 3th of oct, before scolding me for what i said to jane, before breaking up with me.
but i changed th colour of th font to white when i posted, so no one could see.
now i changed it back to black.
but i guess.
its way too late.

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one to build me up and tear me down, like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left, just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming,
I should've started running a long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these days
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

call me a bitch or whatever you want.
it doesn't really matter anymore.
hate me if you want.
i can't do anything anyway.
last long with her! (:
& just know that ily.

and october is seriously cursed okay.
5 couples break ardy!
and all is th boy dump th girl. ._.
and you know what?
guys seriously don't care when they break up with th girl.
or whether it will affect her at all.
seriously.
th dates they all break is seriously damn..
zz.
anyway, OCTOBER IS CURSED!
i'm gonna have the WORSE birthday in th history of birthdays.
YAY. ._.

if this happened one week ago, i probably would have felt like dying. and maybe wounld have done so. but this is happening now. so i guess i may be fine. you said that you need some time. but you've obviously made up your mind, without tell me. so i wont do anything. its not right to that girl anyway. i dont know if i should envy her or pity her. one thing is for sure, if you dont change, you're going to end up hurting her the same way you've hurt me so many times. so if you really love her, please just change. and i'm tired of you hurting others girls too. they don't deserve it. and now to think of it, neither do i.

now, i realise the phrase, " i want to be single for sometime " is just as cliche as, " i love you ". words that are said without much thought or consideration. i guess it took me long enough to firugre out. and now that i have, i feel like such a fool. but what is done is done, and what is said is said. now its time to move on with my life. and i know that i have great friends to help me get through this phase.

i dont know if you will miss me, or love me again. but all i know is that, even if you dont, i still can live. i have survived 1 week and 2 days, i dont see why i cant continue. we both know that we had a rocky relationship. we have had many break ups and patch ups. i guess, you'll always be my first love, as there is nothing that can be done to change it. i cant go back in time. and i think, i dont want to change it. i have learnt many things from this mistake.

knowing for a fact that you will never come back to me anymore makes me sad, but also makes me determined to move on. like melany said, dont give up on the sea just because of one ugly fish. and i wont. of course, i'll never find someone like you ever again. which can be good, and bad. somehow, after this, i think i'll be a stronger person. just cause you're my first, doesnt mean you'll be my last. like rosi said, scars make you stronger in life. and now, i believe her. not only it makes you stronger, it makes you wiser and less vulnerable. now i know what not to fall for. cliche lines are so pathetic. seriously people, come up with something better.

anyway, who knows? maybe a few months or years down the road, we may fall in love again. but, i'm not counting on it to happen, i'm not even gonna hope. but who knows? if we're meant to be, then you're meant to be. if not? thats just too bad for us.

_________________________________________________

thank you, xinyi, evelyn, kimberly, rosiana, damien, andrew, francesca, bryan, jane, huijuan, yiting, isaac, melany, ravin, ruixia and many others for the wonderful support you guys have given me. and also for not giving up on me. :D you guys are th best.

Xinyi : hey mummy. thanks for everything okay. (: you were there when i needed you most. and i hope i can be there for you when you need me okay? thanks for all the comforting words, yea? :D ILOVEYOU MUMMY!

Evelyn : (: thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder the other day. no one has done that for me before. and i'm really touched. thanks for everything. esp th gossip girl dvd! <3

Kimberly : my horny competitor. MUAHAHA. :D she owns me anyday. :X

Rosiana : YO. :D thank you for everythinggg. :D and thanks for shouting some sense into my head that day. unfortunately for me, it only got into my mind last night. :X

Damien : HA. hello boob snatcher! :D hahaha. i'm not flatty th snail okay. thanks for those really.. uh.. CHIM words. hahaha. :D and thanks for making me feel better without even knowing it. LOL. thanks for being my frens since sec1. HAHA. i still rmb th haoyi's blog spamming. :D and thanks for being there for me in april, may and june and every other time that he has hurt me. i should have listened to your advice then. but i guess i was too caught up in love eh? BUT STOP MIXING MY DRINKS!

Andrew : HEY KOR. thanks for being here for me even after what happened in june. I SWEAR, it i knew it would have ended like that, i wouldnt have said anything that day. we're better of as friends anyway. (: thanks for th " how are you "s every now and then since.. the day i broke down in september. and thanks for encouraging me since last sunday. {:

Francesca : YOU'VE BEEN MY JIE FOR MORE THAN ONE YEAR! thanks for everything! you and damien have been there for me this whole year. thankyouthankyou! :D ily jie! :D

Bryan : HEY. i've just met you like.. a couple of days ago. but yea, thanks for the comfort. (:

Jane : CHIOBUUU, darling chiobu! :D thanks for being there for me. i have told you almost EVERYTHING. and thanks for the advice! :DD you also cannot be too emo okays! :D

HuiJuan : hey. i have not really talked to you much. but thanks for th words of advice on sunday.

YiTing : noooob! :D you've been my fren just as long as damien! haha! thanks!! and thanks for shouting on th phone with rosi. ._. HA. WAHAHAHAHAAHAA. so fun talking to you okay! yay! :D

Isaac : LOL. hi di! i met you on the same day i met jie! one year plus liao hor! and we've never fought. :D you're th best di i ever had. muahahahaa. and now you're my audi twin too! HAHA! :D

Melany : nuer! :D haha. ty for everything also. {{: ily lah.

Ravin : lol. yo crazy humper! hahahha. music room is not fun without you lah. haha. you bring th fun man. and thanks for the, not so nice, true words. (:

RuiXia : HELLO! you've been my fren for almost 4 yrs ardy! friends forever! yayy! thanks for the advice, comfort and everything else. haha. :D



DONEEE.
okays, maybe i'll have updates about today later. cya! :D

firstly,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROSIANAAAA! ;D
haha. ;D
now 15 liao hor!
stop being so childish!
;x
rmb, like you said, ONE MORE YEAR!
until legal age. ;D
i know you cant wait right, you horny horny girl. :X
wahahhaaaa.
ANYWAYYYSSS, thank you for today's lunch. {{:
i feel so bad okay.
making you pay on your birthday. ):
today so many ppl lo. 15 ppl. LOL.
kimmy, yiting, shuling, shuxuan, vivian, jeslyn, sunwoo, damien, darren, chee eng, irdina, heeren, shiqi, me, and youu. ;D
i didn't miss out anyone right? x.x
anyway, thanks lah. D:
$171 leh. D:
and sorry for whining about des th whole day.
LOL.
:x but i'm not gonna stop! ):

here are th pictures for today.

DRINK COMPETITION. darren and rosi!
LOOKS LIKE ROSI IS WINNING!
YUP. she won. ;D
darren had to drink another cup as penalty. HA.

ANDDD, we threw cake on her. :x


wahahaha. ;D
okayyy, time to start at th BEGINNING OF TH DAY.

RESULTS.


):

english : idk how much also lo. i only know FAIL. for th first time in my entire life i failed english.
and shut up damien, you just bribed th tchers!

conbined humanities : geog : 29/50. WALAO. ): , ss : 26/ 50. total : 55/100. shit lah D:

Elementry maths : 73/100. 2 MORE MARKS TO A1. wakao. D:

Additional maths : 57/100. LOST TO DAMIEN AND ROSI BY 1 MARK. ._. alot of FUCKING careless mistakes. sorry lah. thinking of other things right. ._.

Chemistry : 63/100 . wtf. so low ok. DD:

Physics : 56.5/100. YAYYY. passed for th FIRST TIME in th ENTIRE year. YAYY.

Biology : i swear i thought i would fail this paper cause th break up was th day before and i didnt get to study at all. BUT, i got.. 70/100. OMGGG. A2. ;D yays. {:

L1R5 : 26. FUCKKKK. so high. wth.
L1R4 : 20. JUST AS HIGH. how go into good poly course sia. D:

AND I LOST TO DAMIEN FOR 4 SUBJECTS. SHIETT.
i only won him 3. dammit la.
mid - year i won him for so many subjects okay.
zz. D:


boo. ):

then after recess.
me and kimmy siao ardy.
we both hugged each other
and kimmy said, " I WANT MY HANDPHONE BACK! "
then i said, " I WANT DESMOND BACK! "
then after awhile.
we ran to evelyn.
then she ran away.
then we chased her for awhile.
then we started laughing.
and walked back after her.
then she shouted.
" HA! I HAVE MY HANDPHONE, AND MY BOYFRIEND!!! "
then i ran like crazy and grabbed her.
" OI! DAMN YOU LA EVELYN! "
then kimmy also heard what.
then she also chased her.
then we both grabbed her.
and hugged her like mad.
then we started saying th same things to her.
then she is like, " i cant give you my handphone , and i cant give you my boyfriend! "
then i said, " I DONT WANT YOUR BOYFRIEND I WANT MINE! "
then kimmy said, " I DONT WANT YOUR PHONE! I WANT MINE! "
LOL. ._.
then we dragged her to see the councilor.
but she isnt in! D:


thennn, after sch went to tm. ;D

so kuku okay.

15 ppl. LOLS. :x
at first we all walked to th pizza hut.
then they stay wait for 20 mins.
okay lorh.
then we all walked separately.
i went with kimmy and rosi.
we went into toysareus first.
then kimmy said hi to random boys.
._.
pedophile.
then we walked out.
o.o
hahs. :x
then we went to a shop beside that.
then rosi suddenly hugged me and said, sara i love you lah. and blablabla.
then kimmy was like, ee.. anyone that tells you that he/she loves you is lying.
then i stare at her and said, so you saying desmond never loved me la?
then rosi was like, aiyo, kimmy why you say.
then rosi stare at me. she said, sara i swear if you cry, i going to cry also.
then i said, i not crying. then i walked to see th notebooks. lol.
._.
then we went back to pizza hut, waited awhile.
then went in.
then darren and chee eng went to order th 4 person set for just 2 of them.
DIU.
then rosi said, if you cannot eat finish, you pay by yourself ah.
then they looked at each other. then said, set ah, set.
haha.
then after th meal.
we all bully darren.
keep making him drink lots and lots of pepsi.
until he want die ardy.
then rosi said, actually you didn't have to drink.
LOL.
i think he going to faint okay.
._.
haha.

then we went outside to take group photo.
DAMIEN RAN AWAY.
asshole.


hahs.
then walked around a bit.
then suddenly yiting put her arms arnd me.
then sunwoo was like siao okay.
he was like, oi yiting dont touch her. stay 2 METERS AWAY FROM HER.
then he pushed yiting away. LMAO.
then we went and buy cake.
and smashed it onto her face.
LOL.
she looked so stupid okay. :D
then waited for her to wash up.
kimmy sat on my lap.
zz.
then i bounced my leg up and down.
then yiting was like, WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING?
she not humping me.
dont worry. ._.


then we went home. {:


END-OF-STORY.




I've got something to say.
For all this time,
I've been loving you, boy.
Oh yes I have
And ever since the day
You left me here alone,
I've been trying to find
Oh, the reason why you did.

So if I did
Something wrong
Please tell me
I wanna understand
'Cause I don't want
This love to ever end

And I swear
If you come back
In my life
I'll be there till the end of time
And I swear
I'll keep you right by my side
'Cause, baby, you're the one I want

I watched you go
You've taken my heart with you .

you know what? i don't even know what you're thinking or how you feel about me anymore.
what do you want me to do?
i don't know what you want.
you know what?
if you think its over and done.
then just tell me.
you seriously don't know how painful it is, or how much i love you.

hey.
just back from heeren's suprise party.
lol.
so many people went.
here are th people that i went with :
yiting, rosi, irdina, jeslyn, naryung, shuling, shiqi, vivian, sunwoo, damien, joel, faiq and shafiq.
i think those are th only few.

today was so stupid okay.
i couldn't sleep last night.
so at like.. 1.45 am, i walked to my dark living room.
and sat there
till like.. 2.30..
then i went back and tried to sleep.
fell asleep at like.. 3?
then i started waking up every hour. z..
its like, i wake up, check my phone, close my eyes.
then at like, 6.30 my mom came into th room to wake my brother up for school.
then i woke up also.
zz.
then i went to sleep.
then at like. 8, rosiana called me.
lols.
then i answer.
rosi thought i was crying.
ha..?
you know what she said to me?
" at first i thought you crying , but then i think its too early for you to have anything to cry about "
lols. ._.
then she told me kimmy cant go bugis today. ._.
diu.
then i went to sleep again. ._.

then i woke up and went to play audi.
play play play.
until rosi ask me to go parkway with her and yiting.
then i met them at like, 1.30.
then walked around like siao.
and kimmy so poor thing okay.
dont worry. ):
then me, rosi and yiting bought th same shirt.
o.o
they both went to change.
i didnt.
lol.
ha.
then walk around somemore.
then damien called me.
he said he was in th arcade.
we went up.
he wasn't there.
i call him.
he said he was in borders.
wtf.
then i say, and if you're not there how?
then he said, hahaha. sucker. i'm at home.
zz.
ass.
and he was waiting for th bus.
ha. sucker.
takes you 1 hr to come parkway. ._.
then we sat at mc cafe.
met shiqi thr.
4 of us talk talk there.
then went to find th other girls.
then they asked me, rosi and shiqi to go.
then we say okay lo.
then we waited for th 4 boys.
and sunwoo came later.
o.o
then walked around to find presents
then went to starbucks.
sit there awhile.
then go liao.
then went to th hse to suprise heeren.
lol.
she was seriously damn shocked.
;D
then we went and eat and all those.
then idk whad i said.
then she shouted to damien.
"walao. damien. sara keep whining about desmond th whole day ardy la. ask her shut up leh! "
then joel say , " who ? what? huh? "
then rosi say, " sara la! desmond here desmond there. help me slap her can! "
then joel was like, " i dont slap girls " LOL.
and rosi thought she lost her new clothes.
haha.
but she didnt luh.
then they all wanted to watch scary show.
so i went into heeren's room and sat thr by myself.
then damien called my handphone.
i went to th door and shouted, damien, stop calling my phone!
then he said, come out and watch la.
then i was like, no way.
and went back in.
lol.
then after about 30mins i went home.
my dad came to fetch me.
so kuku okay. ._.
i wanted to walk out of th hse that time.
joel kept talking crap to scare me.
" eh dont get lost uh. so dark. "
etc etc. -.-
luckily i didnt watch th horror movie with them .
then as i was walking out of th door,
joel shouted " eh, reach home call me to tell me hor. nono, i think call damien better la! "
zzz?
dont lame can? x.x
then came home.
and tada, blogged.
lols.

you know what?
october is like the breaking up month.
so many couples break up just recently.
or actually, many boys dumping girls. ._.
a lot okay.
i wonder why.
all kena virus isit.
october is cursed.
CURSED.
all girls, be careful.
you never know what is gonna happen.



and today at parkway so many ppl from our sch.
wth okay. ._.
keep like, waving to ppl.
LOL.
saw tcher somemore.
lols. ._.

sai la.
today i was like super no mood.
and yiting and rosi.
STOP SHOWING ME PDA.
seriously.
if i see one more couple infront of me.
i'm gonna scream or cry or go crazy.
wtf.
okay, i'm done ardy.
bye guys.

one more thing.
grats evelyn and zhi xiong.
last long okays?
;D
BUT ZHIXIONG, STOP STEALING EVELYN FROM ME!
D;
she was mine first.. ):


i still love you so much.

yo people. ;D
just came back home.
lols. :X
I'M DAMN FREAKING RED NOW OKAY.
painpainpain.. TT..
STUPID YITING AND ROSI PUSH ME INTO TH DISGUSTING WATER.
walaoo.
and stupid yiting so horny okay.
._.
rape me luh. think i scared? ;D
you no dick, bodoh. :X
me, rosi, yiting and kimmy got wet.
then after awhile i went up to our bags thr where jeslyn, shuling, jerene and naryung were sitting.
and the sand was so freaking hot.
diuu. ._.
i was like, running up to them okay.
then went under th shade. ;D
then naryung suddenly said she want go hunting. LOL?
then shuling and jeslyn follow her.
then i just lie down there thinking and listening to Wait For You.
then they came back and went down to call yiting they all.
after awhile they came back up luh.
i was like, almost asleep okay.
x.x!
then yiting suddenly come to me, sara you okay anot?
then i was like, huh. yea.
lols. :X
i wasn't crying or anything whad. O:
mm.. then we went to bath.
omgg, like th STUPID camelot camp okay.
kns. ._.
yiting and kimmy bath so slow okay. D;
then we went and take pictures with th others
then went vivo city again to eat.
but jerene and caroline stayed at sentosa.
lols. x.x
bought carrot cake again.
lols. :x
so nice okay.
at least this time damien isn't here.
so no one to steal from me.
lols.
but i couldn't eat finish anyway. .__.ll
then i gave yiting my food and drink.
wth is wrong with me.
my appetite is like, super small luh now.
aaaagh.
then walk walk abit.
I SAW 2 SHIRTS!
so nice! TT.
i want them okay.
is a green shirt with th words " kiss me ! " on it. from rivers island. ;D
55 dollars i think.
i also saw a pair lime green skinnies! i want! $55 also.
wtfzxzxz. but actually its on sale. supposed to be $123 . ._.
i told my mom to follow me thr. she say okay. but next week. D;
sianed.
got another shirt.
idk th name of th shop.
i think in city link also have.
but i dont feel like going anywhere near cityhall / esplanade now.. ._.
so i'll get my mom to bring me to vivo city. ;D
th shirt says " true love " th cartoon on it SO CUTE!
:X
i want!
$51. D;
then after awhile.
i went home.
jeslyn, yiting, shuling and naryung also. ;D
but went to some shop.
idk whats th name leh.
i think action city or something.
bought a mirror that looks like a cookie.
LOL. ;D
then went homeee! ;D
and then now i'm in so much pain.
TT. sunburn!
and other pain. D;
heartpain. x.x
lols.



You'd hold me close in your arms
I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you.

I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast

i miss you. D;

AGHHH. TT..
i'm so fucking miserable now.
bye people. D;

i'm starring in the most depressing movie ever made.
that movie is my life.


There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day
You're such a part of me
But I just pulled away
Well, I'm not the same girl
you used to know
I wish I said the words I never showed

I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me

You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart
And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true
But I was scared and left it all behind

And I'm asking
And I'm wanting you to come back to me
Please?

):
i said please.. ): ..
PLEASE.
haiz.

nights people..

THE EXAMS ARE OVERRR! ;DD

lols. :D
finally sia!
aaaaaaaaaaaah.
time to slackkkk!
time to audi like crazehhh. :D

wahahaha. tmr maybe going sentosa with kimmy, rosi, damien, joel & jeslyn and yiting they all. :X
either that or going bugis with kimmy and rosi. ;D

hahs.
just now went to parkway with rosi. [[:
so funny okay.
at first we were walking to parkway lah.
then saw this group of st pats boys.
then one guy with red glasses looked like kewen.
like, seriously alike luh, from th side and back view.
then we were like trying to see.
then rosi say, how to get them to turn around?
then i say, you fall down lah. then they all turn. LOL. ;D
then she tell me go die. so mean okay. D:
then we walked arnd parkway, bought 30k a cash. :x
idk whad clothes to buy okay! D:
mmm.
then we went to ajisen ramen. ( haha evelyn, dont puke )
rosi treated me.
wahahaha. :D
but then she say i must finish EVERYTHING.
._.
then during th whole meal, i was like whining to her non-stop.
i was like, i want -someone, for me to know, for you to never know.-. i want -someone, for me to know, for you to never know.- ( actually i think everyone know ardy. ._. ). then i keep making th crying sound.
then she was like, AAAGHHH.
then she called kimmy, walaooo, sara keep whining to me!
then kimmy keep saying, you want him for what?!
diu. cause i want luh. D:
then rosi was like, aiyaaa, stop whining la, i call paul twohill here can?
then i said, can can.
lols.
then after 10 secs i started whining again.
then i cannot finish my food. so full okay.
i haven been eating well this week, stop forcing me to eat!
then rosi was like, you dont eat finish, we dont go out.
walaoo. ._.
then i forced myself to eat.
i vomit then you know uh rosi!
hahs!
then we walked arnd, finding places that teach ppl to play guitar. :D
we're gonna learn okay! :D
me, kimmy and rosi. yayy.
so fun. :D
i wan to be able to play vulnerable by secondhand serenade!
wahaha. :D
then we went to lan.
so nice, can go in with uniform.
play audi till 4.
then went home.
then realised tennis cancelled.
wtf? ._.
oh well.
I CANT WAIT FOR 13/10.
rosi's birthday.
HOW WONDERFULLL. ;DD.
hahahahahaaa.
okays, i'll update again later if i feel like.
now i have to eat.
EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO FUCKING APPETITE. D:
khays.
byeeee.


iloveyou. ):

yo people.
feeling better now.
i guess i will get over it someday.
probably in a months time bah?
at least i have friends. (:
and at least damien is not pissed at me anymore.
AND I DONT CARE DAMIEN ANG, I WANT THAT MEDAL.
i have proof okays.

thanks you, xinyi, evelyn, jane, rosiana, zhixiong, damien, ruixia and others for being there for me. :D

and thanks you evelyn for th blog post . :D
i know i'm not alone, cause i have youu. :D
and i know its not my fault, but it still hurts.
and of course i will keep holding on.

i guess damien is right.
i'm gonna post one of his smses.
if you dont know what he is talking about, or what i'm posting about. then, you aren't meant to know. so don't ask me in school or anything. ._.

" 1st what i think people deserve doesnt matter. 2nd its up 2 u. u can sit n wait hoping things will go back n drown in your hopes like me, or u can move on, which is easier does not matter. it is the seeds u sow that does "

thats exactly what he said, i just added a few punctuation. i guess what he said is true.
of course moving on isn't easy. sitting here waiting isn't easy either.
i guess i'll be waiting.. for now.
cause i don't wanna move on, not now, not yet.

all i know is that i have wonderful friends to help me get through this.
you guys are the best.
i dont know what i'd do if not for you guys. :D
and rosi, i'm still not letting you delete my emo songs.
i love my songs okay. D:
MAI TOUCH.
and dont ask god take away my tears.
later eye pain, bodoh. D:
take away my memory.
make me forget everything.
:D
and if i forget everything, i wont cry anymore, i swear.
cause i wont feel the pain of missing someone so badly.
i'm not gonna say i hate love, cause i'm still in love.
i just hate promises, and trusting in promises.
cause most promises end up getting broken anyway.
no matter how sincere the person sounds at that time.
i guess i just have to learn that the hard way.
and it isn't pretty.
so take my word for it guys, dont trust in promises.
promises are just words, that now a days, people say without a second thought.
without thinking of the other party.



Today is the day
The worst day of my life
You're so content it hurts me
I don't know why
The cost of misery
Is at an all time high
I keep it hidden
Close to the surface in sight

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
When I'm going down don't worry about me
Don't try this at home
You said you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Could you be with him?
Or was it just a lie?
He doesn't catch you like I do
And you don't know why
You change your clothes and your hair
But I can't change your mind
Oh, I'm uninvited
So unrequited now

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
When I'm going down don't worry about me
Don't try this at home
You said you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Words screaming in my head
Why did you leave?
And I can't stop dreaming
Watching you and him
When it should have been
It should have been me

Today is the day
The worst day of my life

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
When I'm going down don't worry about me
Don't try this at home
You said you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Whoa (I'm learning to fall, I can't hardly breathe)
(I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me)
Tell me that you know, it should have been me)
Whoa (Don't try this at home, You said you don't see)
I don't want to know that you know, it should've been me
Whoa (I'm learning to fall, I can't hardly breathe)
(I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me)
Tell me that you know, it should have been me
Whoa (Don't try this at home, You said you don't see)
I don't want to know that you know, it should've been me


this song has nice lyrics. :D
i'm not telling you guys th title.
rosi may delete it off my phone. :X

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
firstly, i would like to thank xinyi and evelyn for hugging me this morning.
although i was in PAIN.
& also thank yiting for another hug. she was th second one that made me smile today.
& vivian too. for making me smile without meaning to. LOL. so funny okay. you cannot drink the water properly. then look so poor thing. the whole bio paper blank. must thank me for th answers okay? :X
& evelyn again. for comforting me in borders. hopefully i didnt get any tears on your uniform, yea?
& zhixiong for getting me tissues.
& damien, i guess. for those "inspirational" messages?
& xinyi for comforting me th whole day, ytd. must have been tiring huh? paiseh. ):
oh guess whad? joel was th first person to make me smile today. suprising huh?
cause i was dreaming during maths paper 1.
then i turn around and joel smiled at me.
then i jus smiled back.
ha. so weird. the first one sia. o.o
hahs.
and i think i forgotten to write my name on the freaking maths paper 1 okay.
omg what is wrong with me sia.
AAAAAGH.
i'm so messed up.
*&^%$#@
after th exams, rosi, kimmy, eve, zhixiong and i went to parkway for sakae sushi.
but then the buffet starts only at 3!
and we were there at like.. 1.30?
._.
then we went to borders.
at first we wanted to find th karma sutra.
but cannot find.
kuku luh. TT.
then we went to the homour section.
and read sick books.
hahaha. damn funny okays!
see see.




this is just RETARDED. airbag? omfg.

i was like disturbing zhixiong with this. damn kuku.

is this some kind of joke?

hahs. still got more. lazy upload . :x

got one phrase from eve's book. " I LOVE YOU. ( the three most beautiful HORRIBLE words in the world! ) "

hahs.

okay, then.
this stupid guy working there said we cannot sit between th shelves.
then we moved to the kids place.
then i finished that sexy phrases book ardy.
got bored, then took out my earpiece.
started listening to songs.
then started.. crying. ._.
at first they were shock okay.
i wish i could have seen their faces. :X
then evelyn sat beside me and let me cry on her shoulders.
literally. (:
thanks. :D
walaooo.
i cry in parkway 2 times in 2 days.
wtf is wrong with me?!!?
-slaps myself-
AAAAAAGH.
shittttt.
stop thinking about ittttt. TT.
-slaps myself-

then after that we went sakae sushi.
DAMN FUNNY OKAY.
zhixiong was like, super paiseh.
he was like, wa, i'm not in bnss okay!
then i said, at least we never shout orgasm right!
then kimmy SHOUTED, ORGASM!
LOL.
DAMN FUNNY.
then zhixiong was like, WTHH.
then i shouted, MASTURBATE.
then rosi also, WTHHH.
then kimmy shouted, ROSIANA STOP MASTURBATING.
that was the WORST.
then kimmy was eating chawanmushi.
then me and evelyn were like, ahem, kimmy what you eating uh.
why white white one? waaa. very nice hor?
then kimmy started laughing and cannot eat!
LOL.
then we were like, come on kimmy, eat it. you know you want to, tell us how it taste like okay!
zhixiong was super disgusted.
hahs.
then me,eve and rosi purposely STARED at kimmy eat that.
then i say, wa, very hot right, so FRESH.
DAMN funny.
then then then, when rosi, eve and zhixiong were paying.
me and kimmy made a plan.
then when they almost paid,
we shouted, ORGASM.
and ran to minitoons.
making them looks like idiots. :D

lols. then going home that time, rosi and kimmy missed 15.
HA.
lucky for them, zhixiong and eve didnt go onto th bus but decided to wait for them.
and my bus came straight away.
LOL. suckers. :X

ANDDD, in th bus i listened to my emo songs again.
AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT, ROSI.
hah! :D
if you delete them off my phone i will cry MORE.
lols.
anyway, th ppl in the bus prolly thought i was some retard.
listening to music and crying in th bus.
mm.. maybe i am.
i'm a complete retard.
send me to th hospital.
ask them to erase my memory.
EVERY SINGLE ONE.
so all the pain will be gone..
just take it all away. PLEASEEE.
maybe i shall be like that 15 yr old girl that jumped down th building.
yay.
who wants to jump with me?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.
fuck this life. ._.

anyway, time to type out some emo lyrics.
i'm not gonna write out th title.
if not rosi is gonna delete them from my phone.
D:

ever since you left, i've been a mess.
i'll say this once i'll leave you alone but i gotta let you know,
i wanna get back to the old days where the phone would ring and i knew it was you.
i wanna talk back and get yelled at, fight for nothing, like we used to.
oh hold me, like you mean it, like you miss me, cause i know that you do.
oh, i wanna get back, get back with you.
i'm not gonna lie, i've been a mess since you left.

how could you turn and just go?
and leave me standing so cold.
how could you want to move on?
like what you have for me is gone.
i never quit my love for you, baby thats the truth.
too hard for me to move on when i feel this way for you.
but if you really loved me, why did you leave that way?
heaven knows every second i'm away from you, i find it so hard.

i always needed time on my own, i never thought i'd need you there when i cry.
and the days feel like years when i'm alone.
when you walk away, i count the steps that you take.
do you see how much i need you right now?
when you're gone, the pieces of my heart is missing you.
i miss you..
i've never felt this way before. everything that i do, reminds me of you.
i love the things that you do.
we were made for each other.
out here forever.
i know we were.
all i ever wanted was for you to know.
everything i do i give my heart and soul.
i can hardly breathe, i need you here with me.

my one desire is to be where you are, now and forever.
my one desire is to be with you again.

instead of holding you, i was holding out. i should have let you in, but i let you down.

its killing my heart cause i wish i knew why.
love doesn't have a meaning when you hurt me so bad.
never thought that i would have to let you go this way.
should have followed my heart, but i fell for the game.
life just will not be the same without you.

what we had cant be replaced.
dont let our memories fade away.
keep me in your heart always.
you made me believe i could do almost anything.
stood right by me.
through the tears, through everything.
i'll remember you.
and baby thats forever true.
you're the one i'll always miss.
never thought it would feel like this.
i'll be there for you.
no matter what you're going through.
in my heart you'll always be.
forever, baby.
i'll promise you .
i wont forget the times we shared, the tears we cried.
you'll always be the sun in my sky.
it may be fate that brings us back to meet again, someday.
even though we go seperate ways.
if the day should come where you need someone.
you know i will be there.
dont there ever let there be a doubt in your mind.
cause i'll remember you.

DONEEEEEEEEEE.
i have to stop before i cry again.

fuck la. i goddamn love you so much.

what hurts the most is that you left me without reason.
i have no idea what i did wrong.
you left me when i needed you the most.
i love you so much.
all i want is to be with you.
i know i should move on , instead of pinning onto the past.
but i can't.
the past is all i have left of you.
no matter how painful thi is, i'll wait for you.
my wish is to take my last breath in your arms.
i want to be with you again, forever.
you have no idea how much you mean to me.
the moment you walked away, everything came crashing down.
and i've been running ever since.
running to you.
wanting to run straight into your arms.
but maybe its true.. dreams just never come true.

ah. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
shit.
bye.

my heart was meant to beat for you,
now that you're gone,
i want my heart to stop beating too.

i just read that emotional stress can cause coronary heart disease.
so i'll probably have a heart attack during the next few days..
and never ever wake up to this heartless world.
how nice.



i still love you..

I tried to move on but you're not gone
Cause in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone, I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life

these are lyrics from a song.
not i type one..
this song damn nice la..
makes me cry.
jus post for posting sake.
damn stressed now.
i hate this la.
fuck la.
-inserts every single bad word i know here-.
dammit.
haven't felt this horrible for bout 2 weeks.
iloveyoudesmond.
i really love you so much.
you taught me how to love.
you have always been there for me.
you are the one i always talk to.
i can sense something is wrong.
idk what i did.
but please, please don't leave me.
i dont think i will be able to live if i did.
ilyilyily.
):
ily.

chiobu. stop hurting yourself.
those boys not worth it de.
dont trust their words.
a lot of boys like that de.
they only say, they never follow through.
this boy, hurt you like that 3 time liao leh.
T-H-R-E-E.
he make you so sad till you cut lehs.
D:
he say he will love you.
but he also never.
he still cheat on you leh.
and what he said was so obvious is a lie.
even i dont know him well also can tell.
that date so obvious not his birthday or what lah. ._.
he born this yr july? cannot be rights?
i think he must go learn how to lie wor.
chiobu. stop letting yourself get hurt.
no boy is worth it okay?
i'll always be here for you. (:
and that stupid guy is just an asshole that doesn't deserve you! :D
if you're his stead he should be honest with you.
don't let him make you think its all your fault.
its not your fault at all.
he is just a fxcking hongster.
hongsters suck.
he want hong, don't include you.
don't let him include you.
don't let him toy with your feelings.
okay?
he is not worth it AT ALL!
i know he always know what to say to make you think he is faithful.
or whatever shiet.
its bullshit.
don't believe it.
DON'T DON'T DON'T.
don't trust boys like him.
waste your love. waste your trust. waste your time.
okays? :D

I SCREWED UP MY EXAMS.
AAAAHH. D:
ss - screwed
compo - kinda weird. wrote about temptation. many of us ended up writing about sex. ha..? o_o
geog - okok la. maybe can pass.
eng paper 2 - finished it in like.. 30mins? slept for th rest of time. :X then vivian kicked my chair like crazy. wthells? someone trying to SLEEP. bodoh. D:
e maths paper 2 - left one whole question blank. 8 mark leh. wth. TT!
chem - SCREWED. nooo. TT.

left bio, e maths paper 1, a maths and physics.
DIEEE!!! D:

must start studying like crazy liao. TT.
bio la.
haiz.

today sent rosi to th airport.
we tried to make her cry, but she didnt.
NOOO. D:
then me, eve and yiting went to swensens.
actually zhixiong was supposed to come.
but couldn't. o.o
idk why. ask evelyn. :P
hah. was planning to ask him bio stuff again. ._>
swensens instead of eating proper food, we ate icecream.
LOLLLL. :D
then rosi called us and we made her jealous cause she is hungry. :X
wahaha. i think she reach indo liao lo. O:
hope so. (:
she better be safe. D:
then aft that went to terminal 2, buy burger, and went home. o.o
then i tried to eat th burger. but too full.
LOL. who wants? :X
lalalalaaaa.

walaooo. i think des is still having his exam.
or he jus doesnt wan sms me . o.o
idk. x.x
5.20 liao lehh. D:
faster lehh.
TT. jy. dont fail. :D
ily.

blahs. i'm going back to listening to emo songs.
so fun.
:X
but i'm not emo today, i think.
hah. :D
and wth , in th morning, both my mother and xinyi said my eyes swollen. ._.
diu la. i slept at like 11? not late at all la.
D:
mothers think alike.
HAHAHAH. :D
my eyes aren't swollen okay. O.O
actually idk. :X
didnt check.
i doubt it is la.
._.
i didnt sleep late and i didnt cry much. o.o
okay. i'm going liao.
BYEBYE. :D