if this happened one week ago, i probably would have felt like dying. and maybe wounld have done so. but this is happening now. so i guess i may be fine. you said that you need some time. but you've obviously made up your mind, without tell me. so i wont do anything. its not right to that girl anyway. i dont know if i should envy her or pity her. one thing is for sure, if you dont change, you're going to end up hurting her the same way you've hurt me so many times. so if you really love her, please just change. and i'm tired of you hurting others girls too. they don't deserve it. and now to think of it, neither do i.

now, i realise the phrase, " i want to be single for sometime " is just as cliche as, " i love you ". words that are said without much thought or consideration. i guess it took me long enough to firugre out. and now that i have, i feel like such a fool. but what is done is done, and what is said is said. now its time to move on with my life. and i know that i have great friends to help me get through this phase.

i dont know if you will miss me, or love me again. but all i know is that, even if you dont, i still can live. i have survived 1 week and 2 days, i dont see why i cant continue. we both know that we had a rocky relationship. we have had many break ups and patch ups. i guess, you'll always be my first love, as there is nothing that can be done to change it. i cant go back in time. and i think, i dont want to change it. i have learnt many things from this mistake.

knowing for a fact that you will never come back to me anymore makes me sad, but also makes me determined to move on. like melany said, dont give up on the sea just because of one ugly fish. and i wont. of course, i'll never find someone like you ever again. which can be good, and bad. somehow, after this, i think i'll be a stronger person. just cause you're my first, doesnt mean you'll be my last. like rosi said, scars make you stronger in life. and now, i believe her. not only it makes you stronger, it makes you wiser and less vulnerable. now i know what not to fall for. cliche lines are so pathetic. seriously people, come up with something better.

anyway, who knows? maybe a few months or years down the road, we may fall in love again. but, i'm not counting on it to happen, i'm not even gonna hope. but who knows? if we're meant to be, then you're meant to be. if not? thats just too bad for us.

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thank you, xinyi, evelyn, kimberly, rosiana, damien, andrew, francesca, bryan, jane, huijuan, yiting, isaac, melany, ravin, ruixia and many others for the wonderful support you guys have given me. and also for not giving up on me. :D you guys are th best.

Xinyi : hey mummy. thanks for everything okay. (: you were there when i needed you most. and i hope i can be there for you when you need me okay? thanks for all the comforting words, yea? :D ILOVEYOU MUMMY!

Evelyn : (: thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder the other day. no one has done that for me before. and i'm really touched. thanks for everything. esp th gossip girl dvd! <3

Kimberly : my horny competitor. MUAHAHA. :D she owns me anyday. :X

Rosiana : YO. :D thank you for everythinggg. :D and thanks for shouting some sense into my head that day. unfortunately for me, it only got into my mind last night. :X

Damien : HA. hello boob snatcher! :D hahaha. i'm not flatty th snail okay. thanks for those really.. uh.. CHIM words. hahaha. :D and thanks for making me feel better without even knowing it. LOL. thanks for being my frens since sec1. HAHA. i still rmb th haoyi's blog spamming. :D and thanks for being there for me in april, may and june and every other time that he has hurt me. i should have listened to your advice then. but i guess i was too caught up in love eh? BUT STOP MIXING MY DRINKS!

Andrew : HEY KOR. thanks for being here for me even after what happened in june. I SWEAR, it i knew it would have ended like that, i wouldnt have said anything that day. we're better of as friends anyway. (: thanks for th " how are you "s every now and then since.. the day i broke down in september. and thanks for encouraging me since last sunday. {:

Francesca : YOU'VE BEEN MY JIE FOR MORE THAN ONE YEAR! thanks for everything! you and damien have been there for me this whole year. thankyouthankyou! :D ily jie! :D

Bryan : HEY. i've just met you like.. a couple of days ago. but yea, thanks for the comfort. (:

Jane : CHIOBUUU, darling chiobu! :D thanks for being there for me. i have told you almost EVERYTHING. and thanks for the advice! :DD you also cannot be too emo okays! :D

HuiJuan : hey. i have not really talked to you much. but thanks for th words of advice on sunday.

YiTing : noooob! :D you've been my fren just as long as damien! haha! thanks!! and thanks for shouting on th phone with rosi. ._. HA. WAHAHAHAHAAHAA. so fun talking to you okay! yay! :D

Isaac : LOL. hi di! i met you on the same day i met jie! one year plus liao hor! and we've never fought. :D you're th best di i ever had. muahahahaa. and now you're my audi twin too! HAHA! :D

Melany : nuer! :D haha. ty for everything also. {{: ily lah.

Ravin : lol. yo crazy humper! hahahha. music room is not fun without you lah. haha. you bring th fun man. and thanks for the, not so nice, true words. (:

RuiXia : HELLO! you've been my fren for almost 4 yrs ardy! friends forever! yayy! thanks for the advice, comfort and everything else. haha. :D



DONEEE.
okays, maybe i'll have updates about today later. cya! :D