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Date : Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Time : 10:24 PM Viva - La - Vida is getting seriously annoying . ~.~ Save me . Its like there's suddenly this barrier . I want to break it , jump over it , climb over it , destroy it , ANYTHING to get over it , to the other side . To you . But i can't . It takes 2 people to break it . Unfortunately , i'm the only one willing or bothered to try . |
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Time : 9:08 PM Fate is on our side , but time isn't . Its just so frustrating . |
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Time : 8:42 PM I know there's nothing really left to say .♥ |
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Time : 7:53 PM I feel kinda breathless now . Its the feeling you get before you burst into tears . But , somehow , i ain't crying . Can't find a valid reason to anyway . :/ I think i'm sick . -lost- As the sun goes down in front of me , it reminds of me of where i want to be . With you , and you alone . Pull me in like you were made for me , i'm losing faith in gravity . I just need to let you know , i need you . |
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Date :
Time : 7:18 PM Set you free . Maybe you weren't too late afterall . Just too early . Just one more moment, that's all that's needed. Like wounded soldiers in need of healing. Time to be honest, this time I'm bleeding . Please don't dwell on it, cause I didn't mean it . I cant believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground . But it doesn't matter cause I've made it up forgive me now . Everyday I spend away my souls inside out . Gotta be someway that I can make it up to you now, somehow. By now you'd know that I'd come for you . No one but you, yes I'd come for you , but only if you told me to . And I'd fight for you . I'd lie, it's true . Give my life for you . You know I'd always come for you . I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing . My mind was closing, now I'm believing . I finally know what just what it means to let someone in . To see the side of me that no one does or ever will . So if you're ever lost and find yourself all alone , i'd search forever just to bring you home, Here and now, this I vow . |
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Date :
Time : 6:16 PM Just to get high ; Gah . :/ . Had clb today . They combined the classes alr . :D . Yay . Finally same class as Kimmy. && , this teacher is more fun . :) . Hoho . Today had bio test . I think i should be able to pass . Lols . :/ A maths was rather boring. So was geog . So was MT . Cme was okay . Heh . Just realised that i have been kinda avoiding some stuff . I just don't want to admit some things to myself . I regret everything . This term , everything i feared most came true . Because of one wrong decision . Some people can just pick up where they left off . But i'm not one of those people . There are so many things that i regret . & i missed one great opportunity . Once an opportunity is gone , it doesn't come back . Argh . How i wish i could turn back time . Rewind . To febuary . Its far too late to change anything now . & the person that understands me the most , is the person i absolutely cannot tell this to . Argh . I feel like i'm going to burst . Not being able to talk to anyone 'bout this . Help ? -sigh- |
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Date : Monday, March 30, 2009
Time : 9:49 PM Declaration , Just here to advertise Kimmy's blog . Haha . She posted a really good post on Perfection . I agree with her completely . Lols . Sigh . If only memories can fade away from me the way you walked out of my life . I feel somewhat resentful towards most things and people now a days . The slightest things causes me irritation . The smallest things causes me to flinch away from someone . I don't understand why . I really don't . Memories are terrible burdens to carry around with you . They slow you down , they keep you rooted to where you are . They restrain you from moving on . Moving on is vital . Moving on is necessary . Moving on is impossible . Why is there such a thing as love ? Love makes hurt and pain inevitable in life . Love isn't that powerful . In books and movies , love is something so powerful , so almighty . Something that is able to solve everything , every problem . Overcome every obstacle . However , here in reality , love just causes heartbreak and grief . Hais . |
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Date :
Time : 6:47 PM Could you say goodbye to yesterday ? You seem like a distant island that i'm slowly losing sight of as the mist gets thicker . You're so near , yet so far . You seem like some distant memory that i'm trying to grasp hold of . Just some distant object that i can't seem to figure out . What's going on ? What happened ? Why ? These questions seem to be stuck in my head . Everyday , everynight , i ponder and brood till my head hurts . I came up with all sorts of reasons and explanations . However , it seems like i'll never be able to figure out the truth , to understand what really happened . Someone , please , take away this growing confusion and hurt . Take away all the memories that are holding me back , like a barricade , restraining me from letting go. Stop me from making excuses & hoping . Help to erase your face from my mind . Allow me to dream of anything but you . Free me from this mixture of love and lust . Set me free . |
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Date :
Time : 6:17 PM I did it for you ; Hello . Today was .. seriously dull . Kinda . The school part . Went to sch as usual . Was almost late . Lols . Barely made it on time . Had to run the dreaded 2.4 today . My timing increased . Damn . Was exhausted by the 4th round . By the time i finished the run , i was damn faint . I was stumbling around till i finally sat down . Went down for recess , again . Had to bring a lot of food back up to the class . As i had to buy food for Rosiana and YiTing . :) . MT , sat with Kimmy . At first , we were doing our work diligently while listening to music. But Mr Lai told us to refrain from using our phones . Whatever . So we started talking , as usual . :D Physics , failed yet another test . -Faints- Every physics test that i have gotten back this term has been a failure . I seriously have to work harder . Oh well . Too much distractions now . This term has been a demoralizing term . Everything has turned out badly after the holidays . I'd rather go back to term 1 , January . Everything was so simple , easy . No confusion , nor hurt . Now , school is such a dread . Home isn't much better either . I'd rather stay out at the Esplanade or the beach with my friends . Being with my friends numbs the pain . Its like i can actually be cheerful with them . Not ecstatic or elated(thats for Kimmy) , but cheerful at the very least . I wish time could just rewind . Bring me back to when everything was so easy . Like in kindergarten or primary 1 . No enemies , no heartbreaks , no profound questions to keep you pondering . Everything was so straight forward , so direct . Everyone was so predictable , there were no surprises . I totally detest surprises . I hate it when people suddenly change for no rhyme or reason . In just a blink of an eye , everything is spinning round and around . Nothing makes any sense no matter how long you try to figure it out . There is no one to ask , no one that is able to give you the answers you need , to relief the burden on your shoulders . Enough about that , anyway , went to parkway with Kimmy after school to eat snow ice . Sat there and talked and laughed . We laughed almost everything . How i wish every moment could be as care-free as that . At about 4 , walked to ecp . Kimmy went mac to buy a burger before that . She met Jonathan . So coincidental . Ha . Slacked and talked a lot at the beach . There was high tide today . Weird . Usually there would be low tide . After while , we decided to walk back to the rock that we went to a few weeks ago . With some other people . Wanted to see if what i wrote was still there . But , i was unable to check as the sea was covering it . Sigh . We sat there in silence , just appreciating the beauty and serenity of the beach . :) At about 5:30 , we left the beach . Walked back to parkway and went our separate ways . My dad bought for me the Hannah Montana Movie soundtrack . :D I was surprised when he called me to tell me he purchased the cd . Haha . Okay , anyway . Time to study for the bio test which i will be having tmr . Damn . Cya . :) . All i ever wanted was a simple way to get over you . All i ever wanted was you . Your new beginning was my ending . |
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Date : Sunday, March 29, 2009
Time : 9:49 PM Life on the moon wouldn't feel as far away . The life that i knew is through . I need you more than ever . I'm alone in this crowded room , it feels like life on the moon . |
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Date :
Time : 8:34 PM Round and around we go ; Your judgement was never my concern . |
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Date :
Time : 7:32 PM To get over you , If anyone asks, I'll tell them we've both just moved on. When people all stare, I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk. Whenever I see you, I'll swallow my pride, and bite my tongue. Pretend I'm okay with it all, Act like there's nothing wrong. Is it over yet? Can I open my eyes? Is this as hard as it gets? Is this what it feels like to really cry? Cry If anyone asks, I'll tell them we just grew apart. What do I care, If they believe me or not. Whenever I feel, Your memory is breaking my heart. I'll pretend I'm okay with it all, Act like there's nothing wrong. Amazing song . :/ |
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Date :
Time : 7:01 PM & please , stop being a hypocrite . Another thing , please , for fuck sake , don't try to post some really " profound " post . When your grammar and spelling extremely horrendous. Go back and improve your english . Your standard of english is appalling . Just in case you do not know the meaning of appalling , its definition is , causing dismay or horror . Remember that , you can use that in your examinations . :) . |
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Date :
Time : 6:57 PM No one , but you . Boo . :) . Just finished watching Twlight . Again . :D . Twilight is an amazing show . & the twilight saga is one of the best love stories ever writen . :) . Unlike those other feeble attempts by other authors . Lols . And pathetic attempts by some couples . Thinking their love can be some perfect story . Unfortunately , love can't be perfect . Those are just fiction . Perfect love is just as much as a fantasy as vampires are . :) . Kinda annoyed now , lols . -.- . I don't understand why some people say , " don't talk 'bout the past , whats done , is done . " The past makes up the present . You can't run away from it . Running away from your past is exactly like running from the mistakes you made in the past . By avoiding it does not help you in the future . You won't be able to learn from it , and you won't be able to make it right . Sooner or later , you'll still have to face them . By running from the past , you're destroying your future . It is true that whats done , is done . But , there is always a way to make things right . No one can change the past , but one can make a better future . Do you want to carry on , living as per normal with that guilt inside of you ? Knowing that you've hurt people , knowing that you've done despicable things , but have been avoiding it . Do you think you'll be able to outrun it ? To escape it ? No matter what you say or do , you can't erase the past . You can't get rid of it , no matter how much you regret it . :) . Ever heard the saying , " this is history repeating itself " ? Well , those who refuse to accept their mistakes and learn from it , will always allow history to repeat itself . Those who shun advice and care from friends will always make the same mistakes . You're just going to hurt yourself time and time again . Perhaps , no one is going to care anymore . Thus and therefore , i wish you well . :) . Don't lie to yourself . Living in denial isn't going to help your current situation . A person that is unable to face the truth is hopeless . For lying to yourself will only make you more vulnerable to worse mistakes later in life . Some people are totally irredeemable and irrevoable . As they completely refuse to listen . As hopeless as you are , though . You're still my friend . |
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Date : Saturday, March 28, 2009
Time : 10:54 PM Save you ; |
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Date :
Time : 9:14 PM If today was your last day , Yo . :) . Tiring day today . Woke up early for speech day . Such a waste of time . Go there listen to boring speeches and watch people collect prizes . Saw some assholes up on stage somemore . Spoil the whole ceremony , seriously . Overall , it was uncomfortable (horribly hot) and incredibly dull . After that , the spectators had to go for Fiesta . What was the school thinking ? Having the fiesta at 12 in the afternoon . It was sweltering hot . All of us were suffering under the blazing sun . 2007's fiesta was much better . It was at night . Anyway , we witnessed Ms Lenny and Ms Faizah getting dunked . Hilarious . Haha . We were clapping and cheering like mad . :) . Hee . :D . The dance floor was nice . It was mended by , if i'm not wrong , 3A ? The effects were marvelous . The malay boys there were extremely rowdy . They were chanting gang raps . Mad . After that , wandered around aimlessly . It. Was. So. Fucking. Hot. Went to music room for like , 5 minutes ? Then had no where to go , as Vivian had to lock the music room . Decided to go tech view . The security guard didn't even care that we were strolling out of the school gates . Haha . Went to tech view , bought drink . Was so damn parched . Talked and slacked for awhile . Then went back to school for second attendance . Actually , didn't have to go back . Mdm Wong already ticked against our names . She said she trusted us to not run home . She's such a wonderful teacher . :) . Went TM with Rosi and Xinyi . Had lunch at Pastamania . Baked rice . :D . The baked rice from Pastamania is fantastic . Lols . Then wandered around TM . Had nothing much to do . Eventually , we decided it was time to leave . Xinyi went to inter-change to catch bus 65 , i assume . Rosi and I took bus 15 . We slept in the bus . I was exhausted . Didn't sleep much last night . Got off at parkway , caught bus 36 . Alighted at Esplanade . Went to sit near the docks . Sat there to clear my head and listen to music . After an hour , i got up , and started exploring the Esplanade . Went up and down random stairs . Went to the sky terrace too . Spent quite some time there . There were many people at the Esplanade . Majority were couples . Every where you turn , you'll be able to see couples embracing . Yes , its that bad . Lotsa PDA . Hahas . Eventually , became bored . Called my mom . My parents and brother were late , again . Met them at suntec . Went to New York New York for dinner. Ate some creamy pasta . Couldn't finish it . Too much cream for one day . :/ . Went cd shopping . :D . Actually wanted to buy Kelly Clarkson's latest cd & The Hannah Montana Movie soundtrack . They didn't have the soundtrack . Thus , only bought Kelly Clarkson's cd . But , my dad bought David Cook's cd and Nickelback's cd . Whoooo . :D I also wanted those 2 cds . Was damn lucky . :) . I will buy the soundtrack tmr , i guess . Listening to Kelly Clarkson's cd now. :) . Its really good . Yeah yeah Shihyao . I know you told me that over and over again before . :P . |
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Date :
Time : 8:59 PM So live like you never had . I made a new tag board . :) . That one too old alr . I want the Refresh button . & , there were too many bullshit in that tag board . Don't ya agree ? :) . |
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Date :
Time : 12:27 AM And i'm seriously turning off my computer now . I don't have so much time . I have better things to do . Tag as much as you want , if that makes you happy . It shows alot when you gain pleasure from doing something so childish and profane . Bye . |
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Date :
Time : 12:18 AM ♥ Joel , say whatever you want on your blog . & excuse me , no one is perfect . You're not perfect . I'm not perfect . Get that into your head . And about that " path " crap . I don't really care . Wake up ? Wake up from what ? From the truth ? Am i the one living a lie , or are you the one ? About the IP address thing , you kept saying the spammer's IP address and my IP address is the same . And now you suddenly change your mind ? IP address change everyday ? Please think first . & , every single IP address change meh ? See your ss properly . Just so you know , i don't hate or dislike you or whatever you said on your blog . And lets just hope you wake up too . Doreen , open your eyes . You want ask kimmy, rosi and my other friends if they are my friends ? Save your childishness for someone who thinks it is cute . :) |
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Date : Friday, March 27, 2009
Time : 11:41 PM guest fuck you sara and your disgusitng friends all let down hair think you pretty is it go homesuck balls la. pot calling the kettle black. stupid fucking dogs calling people dogs fuck off la pcb 27 Mar 09 21:01 220.255.7.187 DOREEN dun nid msg her. my sms precious. nights. 24 Mar 09 23:02 220.255.7.187 CAN ANOT ? |
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Date :
Time : 10:01 PM ♥ Hello ! :D . Today was a nice and slacky day . :) . First period english , slacked . Mdm rogayah was showing power point slides , :) . Then , bio . Lols . Slacked somemore . Was playing with iPhone . :D . Then geog . Kinda boring . :/ . Recess , didn't want to go down . But Mrs Yeow made us go down . Suay . Then chem . Slacked ! Then maths . Slacked . LOL . Mdm Wong never teach . NIGHT LESSON WAS CANCELED ! After sch , went ubi . Then went TM with Rosi . Went to watch Confessions Of A Shopperholic . Stupid funny ! Damn nice luh . Haha . :) Then bus-ed back to ubi to pick up skirts . Then bus-ed to Marine Parade library to meet Kimmy ! :) . Walked to parkway . Bought Xinyi's birthday present . Then went to borders to look at hair magazines . Lols . Then went Ajisen Ramen . :D . Then went ECP ! Damn nice to be at ECP at night . :) . 3 of us lay on the rocks , staring at the stars . I was in total bliss . :) . Wish that moment could last forever . This whole week , we were talking about how if only time could stop . That is one of the moments i really wished time could stop . It was so serene . So peaceful . Wow . Unbelievable . :) . I was playing the song , Right Here Right Now . From HSM 3 . Me and Rosi were singing it . Can you imagine , what would happen , if we could have any dream ? I'd wish this moment was ours to own it , and that it would never leave . Then i would thank that star , that made our wish come true . Cause he knows that where you are , is where i should be too . Right here , right now . I'm looking at you , my heart loves the view . Cause you mean everything . Right here , i promise you somehow . Tomorrow can wait for some other day to be . But right now there's you and me . If this was forever , what could be better ? We've already proved it was . So let’s make the second last, make it last! Wonderful song . :) . Suited our mood . Friends forever . :) . Spending time at ecp with the people you love is just so wonderful . The feeling is inexplainable . Today , lying under the stars , with the wind blowing through our hair , was one of the best moments in my life . Laughing and talking without a care in the world . Of all my memories of secondary school , this is definately one of the best . :) . True friends , will be with you forever . & thats what we are . :D . |
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Date : Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Time : 10:20 PM :/ At times like this , everything seems hopeless . Listening to 987 FM . So that at least i will still smile . A little . I hardly reply smses now . Just don't feel like talking . Kimmy knows why , and she thought i was retarded . Lol . -.- . Okay , bye . I wonder if you're happy . Just glad to see me scarred . |
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Date :
Time : 6:26 PM Ignore the mad spammings . Ty , :) . Today was funny . :) Everyone was like gossiping about that thing . Damn retarded . Kept laughing and laughing . Bio was slacky . Had to get in groups of 4 . Played with Yu Xiao's iPhone the whole time . Was typing crap with it . :) Was ranting . :D . Actually not ranting luh . Just quoting people . LOLS . Then english , 3 period . No lesson . :) Mdm Rogayah didn't come . -.- . So slacked like mad . Laughed like mad . :D . Then recess , finally went to the canteen after so long . & still got pissed . Seriously . Damn fucking annoying la . Was late for physics . Sat on th floor . & physics test got cancelled . :DD ! Speaking of physics .. Have to go study DC Motors later . Sian . -.0 Maths was .. Normal . Was damn damn sleepy throughout the lesson . Went to read my old msges to keep me awake . -.- Chem was also slacky . Mdm Haliza has some workshop thing for 3 weeks . :) Not coming sch for 3 weeks . Was typing crap on Kimmy's phone . She thought i was mad . LOL . I insulted her like mad for fun . :3 . Was also venting anger . Lols . Hypocrites are so pathetic , :) . :D . So .. Yeah . Slacky lesson . Again . :/ . After sch , took bus to parkway . Went mac . LOL . Damn xia suay there . Rosi and Kimmy came my house , while Elonah went home . Rosi came to take Gossip Girl from me . Kimmy and i were looking at random people's fs and blogs . Today was a nice day . Damn slacky . :) ! Love it . Haha . Kayy , bye people . :) |
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Date : Monday, March 23, 2009
Time : 9:19 PM Write the names of 16 friends you can think in ur mind.And then answer the questions, say you're guessing if you don't know.But at least guess on all of them.After doing this, tag 21 unlucky friends to do the same thing. 1. Xinyi 2. Kimmy 3. Rosiana 4. Evelyn 5. Jeremy 6. ShihYao 7. Isaac 8. HuiJuan 9. Francesca 10. Shermaine 11. WeiBin 12. Jane 13. Kok Peng 14. Damien 15. Germaine 16. Jonathan 17. Gerald 18. YiTing 19. Elonah 20. Desmond 21. Clarence 1. How do i meet 7? (Isaac) Maple Story . ;3 2. What would u do if u and 15 had never met? (Germaine) Sad luh ! Duh ! 3. What would you do if 20 and 1 dated? (Desmond & Xinyi) Erm . LOL . I would .. be super fucking shocked ?? 4. Have u seen 17 cried? (Gerald) Uh . Heard before . Don't think seen . Cannot rmb ah ! 5. Would 4 & 16 Make a good couple? (Evelyn & Jonathan) HAHA ! Doubt so ! Eve cant be my daughter-in-law ! 6. Do u think 11 is attractive? (Wei Bin) No idea ? 7. What is 2's Favourite colour? (Kimmy) Currently ? Either red or yellow . It changes from day to day . Can't keep track . -.- 8. When the last time i talked to 9? (Francesca) Last night . :X 9. What language does 8 speaks? (HuiJuan) English and chinese . O: 10. Who is 13 going out with? (Kok Peng) He's single . I think . 11. Would u ever date with 17? (Gerald ) HAHHA NO TY . -.- 12. Where does 18 live? (Yiting) UHH ! forgot ! i only know can walk from parkway ! 13. What is the best thing about 4? (Evelyn) My BEST BUDDIE . LOL . 14. What would u like to tell 10 right now? (Shermaine) Oh , hi twinneh . 15. What's the best thing about 20? (Desmond) uh . o_o no idea . 16. Have i ever kiss 2?(Kimmy) I kiss her everyday . :) 17. What is the best memory you have of 5? (Jeremy) Alot alot . :) 18. When is the next time u will be seeing 4? (Evelyn) Tomorrow . 19. How is 7 different from 6? (ShihYao & Isaac) ALOT . 20. Is 2 pretty? (Kimmy) OF COS . HAHA. 21. What is the first impression of 15? (Germaine) We were fighting . :X 22. How did you meet 3? (Rosiana) School ! :D 23. Is 15 one of your best friends? (Germaine) kinda ? 24. Do u hate 12? (Jane) nope ! lols . 25. Have u seen 18 in the last month? (Yiting) saw her today . 26. When was the last time u saw 16? (Jonathan) December . ._. 27. Have u been to 5's house? (Jeremy) yup yup . big sia. -.- 28. When's is the next time u will see 10? (Shermaine) maybe never . LOL . 29. Are u close to 11? (Weibin) used to be . 30. Have u been to the movie with 4? (Evelyn) uh ! dun think so . -.- 31. Have u gotten any trouble with 8? (HuiJuan) nopeee . :X 32. Will u give 19 a hug? (Elonah) Give before ! Haha . 33. When have u lied to 3? (Rosiana) no idea . O: 34. Is 11 good in socializing? (WeiBin) maybe ? haha . 35. Do u have know a secret about 8? (HuiJuan) yehhh . O: 36. Describle the relationship between 12 & 18? (Jane & Yiting) Strangers . 37. What's the best thing about ur friendship with 9? (Francesca) She gives great advice . My darhling jie . :) 38. What's the worst thing about 6? ( ShihYao ) takes a really long time to try on clothes . HAHA . NOOB. 39. Have u ever have a crush with 12? (Jane) she's my chiobu ! 40. How long have u know 2? (Kimmy) i KNOW her for 4 years . 41. Does 11 Have any boyfriend or girlfriend? (WeiBin) Not that i know of. 42. Have u ever wanted to punch 1 in the face? (Xinyi) -cough- maybe . ;3 43. Has 21 meet ur parents (Clarence) He's my daddie ! 44. How did you meet 11? (WeiBin) Maple Story . :) 45. Did u ever accidently phyciscally hurt 3? (Rosiana) On purpose la pls ! :D 46. Do u live close to 7? (Isaac) Quite bah . 47. What's 8 Favourite food? (HuiJuan) idk . O: 48. What kind of car does 1 have?(Xinyi) she cant drive -.- 49. Have u travelled anyway with 9? (Francesca) i wan ! 50. If 14 have $100, what would he/she spend it on? (Damien) uh ! psp stuff or comp stuff . -.- __________________ Done la erzi . :D |
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Date :
Time : 7:07 PM Hello . :) Today was retarded . Lols . Surprisingly , i didn't get screwed for not doing my homework . Lucky me . :) Combined english class with 4C today , for the last period . So fun . :) Kimmy was like sitting on me for 10mins . -.- Pain lah ! LOL . After sch went to tech view cafe . Then went kimmy's house . Watched Cyborg She for awhile . Then stopped . Then slacked there . Kimmy was teaching Rosi how to play Bella's Lullaby . I was lazying around and lying on the sofa playing with kimmy's phone . And idk what xinyi was doing . LOL . ;X Went home at about 5:30 . Hahas . Tmr have clb . Sianed . D: We're going late . Eating snow ice before clb , as usual . :) Hee . Okay , i'm going to do my maths homework now . O: And maybe do geog . Ewww . -.- Geog sucks big time . Fxckzxc . The other day , Kimmy and i were bitching about some people . Then she was like , don't worry . She probably will die soon . Cause dogs usually live for about 14-16 human years ? Haha . Nice one . Early RIP to you . :D You're just a fucking pathetic asshole , you know that ? :) Byeee . :D |
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Date : Sunday, March 22, 2009
Time : 10:13 PM ♥ Cause i would die for you . Drive fast until we crash . Sweet dreams that won't come true . Blinded by the lights . Cause if you jump , i will jump too . We will fall together from the building's ledge . Never looking back at what we've done . We'll say it was love . |
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Date :
Time : 9:26 PM ♥ Just now had tuition . Me and my teacher started talking about Rihanna and Chris Brown . & we were like talking about how hopeless Rihanna is . Then my teacher was like , most people will go back to the person that hurt them . Maybe its true . Lols . Weird though . I was like , talking about relationships with her . Haha . She is so cool . Best teacher ever . :) |
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Date :
Time : 9:01 PM Feel like i have wasted my holidays man . :/ Haven't studied at all . :O Everyday only go out . Monday - TM . Tuesday - Parkway . Wednesday - Suntec , Marina Sq , Raffles City , Esplanade . Thursday - Orchard . Friday - Bugis & Far East . Wth man . :/ I needa study alr . -.- O levels .. And i'm going to die tmr . Never do homework . GG . -.- I only did physics and bio . :X . Whatever . >.> I wanna scream , until no sound comes out . I wanna swallow these pills . I need to start to be myself , cause i'm sick of everybody else . |
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Date :
Time : 8:56 PM And finally the silence . Looking out, looking back across the sky trying to find a meaning . Knowing that I just left it all behind . Still I smell a lingering softness . |
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Date :
Time : 6:11 PM ♥ Just changed blog skin . Was bored . Lols . Whatever . :/ |
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Date : Saturday, March 21, 2009
Time : 11:29 PM Death is peaceful , easy . Life is harder . When my time comes , forget the wrong that i've done . Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed . Don't resent me , and when you're feeling empty , keep me in your memory . Leave out all the rest . |
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Date :
Time : 8:52 PM ♥ boring day. lols . went parkway for lunch . bought a necklace from 77 street . its just 2 rings . quite nice . lol . collected my twilight dvd too . then went home and watch with my brother . lols . i love twilight . & i love jacob too . somehow i feel like him . i can understand how he felt . :) especially his hatred for edward . lols . then went out with parents for dinner . lols . wore totally black today . has been damn long before i did that . black shirt , black skinnes , black shoes , black bag , black ring and black bangles . hoho . but it was like super hot ? -.- xinyi claims i wanna become a bangala . lols . moron mummy . :/ nothing to do now . >.> i think imma go read Breaking Dawn again . the part where Jacob narrates . about all the hatred . now , i only believe in hatred . :) love ? its just a waste of time . -laughs- hatred wun end up hurting me . love will . :) & thanks huijuan for making me feel better . :) at least , after everything , all the pain , i know i've made a good friend . :) oh fuck . monday sch start alr . i seriously have no mood to study . fuck man . O lvl sucks la . someone please get rid of cambridge or something . -.- ugh . plus , if i go to sch , may bump into certain people i really dont want to see . okayy , bye . |
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Date : Friday, March 20, 2009
Time : 10:36 PM i post , also not post for you to see . you huan lo ? mai kpkb please . thanks . :) |
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Date :
Time : 10:16 PM you've finally shown your true colours i guess . i guess i didn't know you that well either . or maybe i was just lying to myself for your sake . either way , it was pathetic. -sarcastic laugh- |
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Date :
Time : 9:43 PM my god , some people are so pathetic . :) don't know why some people have to be such hypocrites . even though the evidence is gone , others have seen it before . don't talk about others when you've done the same . i don't know if you're ignorant or plain stupid . :) i think its plain stupid . stop being so childish and profane . and for fuck sake , don't even bother trying to improve your english . it sucks big time . ask anyone . i pity you , pathetic little girl . don't come into my life . you've done enough damage in others' . don't try to fight with me again . you'll only lose . just like you did , time and time again . :) save yourself the trouble , and fuck off . |
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Date :
Time : 9:00 PM and wtf man . Marcus ( kimmy's friend ) is an exact replica of desmond . -.- i was like mumbling to myself , wtfwtfwtf . lols . seriously . exact replica . whatthehell . :/ when i saw him i was waiting for that wave of sadness . but it never came . guess i really have no more feelings for him alr . lols . i don't know which is worse . getting hurt time and time again by the same person . or getting hurt by someone else . -.- I just recovered from one heartbreak . Now i have to patch my heart back again ? It has barely been one month since i had to struggle to let go of someone . Now i have to do it all over again . Just that this time is harder . Ah fuck man . Love is such a waste of time . If only there is no such thing . Life would be wonderful . -.- |
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Date :
Time : 7:59 PM Now the story has played out like this . Just like a paper-back novel . Lets rewrite an ending that fits . Instead of a hollywood horror . |
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Date :
Time : 7:51 PM ♥ Still not replying smses . And not replying most msn convos . Anything important , call me . Thanks . :/ Don't ask why . Just leave me alone for awhile . |
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Date :
Time : 6:51 PM ♥ :/ went bugis today with rosi and kimmy . bought alot of things . lol . and all are black and white . black bag , black wallet , black shades , black shorts , black bangles , white bangles and white shirt . :/ finally laughed today . as in REALLY laughed . especially when we were making fun of some bitch's blog . like primary school compo la pls . we were laughing like shit . me and rosi were like mad people . stalking kimmy and marcus . lols . laughed like fuck also . it felt good . :) who says friends aren't important ? if you ditch your friends just for a guy , what are you going to do when he ditches you ? friends are the one that will stand by your through everything . through all the pain and hurt and frustration . friends are just as important as guys . or maybe more important . they are like rocks that you can count on to cheer you up and comfort you . they are the one that give you good advice and don't hate you if you don't take it . friends are the one thing we can't live without . :) we're to the point of no return . and along the way , the only thing we've learnt is how to hurt each other . i'm looking back and wondering why i took so long to realise that nothing has changed . and never will . i wish you well and i'll try to forget all the ways we almost made it . but never did . still , i stay in all this pain and nothing's gonna make it go away . i don't wanna wait another minute . put me out of this misery . someone kill me please . thank you . |
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Date :
Time : 12:38 AM i'm having a really fucking bad headache. but i cant fucking fall asleep . -'-. |
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Date : Thursday, March 19, 2009
Time : 11:20 PM i really need to go . to get away . away from this place . from everything . :/ |
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Date :
Time : 11:02 PM ♥ ohmygod . whats wrong with me . -.- my parents think i am mad alr . lol . i'm blasting music into my ears . -silly laugh- i'm so numb now . i feel like being chuck . i feel like getting stoned and drunk , then going onto the roof and almost jumping off a building . -.- i love chuck bass . he is my favourite character besides blaire . -.- imma go sniff the thinner now . nights . this goes to show that you'll never know when everything's about to change . |
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Date :
Time : 10:26 PM ♥ as much as i want to say i expected it , i can't . this has happened way too many times . but somehow its still kinda surprising . haha ? everytime i thought things would turn out differently , it never does . just like the last few times . i always thought this time it'd be different . ah well . guess its just my wishful thinking . don't know why i still bother . or still hope . maybe i just don't learn from my mistakes . you told me to forget you and .. find my true love ? if its hard for you to let go of her , what makes you think it'd be easy for me to let go of you ? what makes your heart so different from mine ? mine isn't harder to break . mine can't let go of people any easier than yours can . but you'll never understand . Ah whatever . Nights . |
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Date :
Time : 9:35 PM ♥ i wont be replying any smses for awhile . so please refrain from smsing me . if there's anything important , just call me . thanks . i just want to be alone for now . |
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Date :
Time : 9:57 AM You were talking to her , but messing with me . It’s finally clear you’re blurring the lines . Are you disturbed? Oh, now you care ? Save it for her . I’m not gonna hear it . Don’t waste your breath . You crashed and you’re on your own tonight . |
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Date :
Time : 9:36 AM Lets make a scene like the movies in our dreams . Make me scream , take me down , no one's watching . Close your eyes , play it back and rewind . So surreal , like the story unfolds on a screen . Stop stalling , the credits are rolling . Hold me now , before we run out of time . Run don't walk, the sky is falling through . Don't talk, tonight i'm so confused . I'm lost, i'm lost with you . I don't care where we are, or where we're heading to . But i know i'm lost. I'm lost with you. For the record, when i'm with you , things are looking better for once . Everything is brighter than the darkness before you . The power lights went out and i am all alone . I don't really care at all , not answering my phone . All the games you played , the promises you made . Couldnt' finish what you started . Only darkness still remains . Lost , i couldn't see . Teach me how to steal a heart as fast as you stole mine . And its like i can't feel a thing without you around . I can't think of anybody else who i hate to miss as much as i hate missing you . |
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Date :
Time : 9:19 AM ♥ :/ i'm tired . the only thing more painful than knowing the truth is not knowing the truth . this holiday sucks . :/ i rather go back to sch . -.- sian la . and blogger is annoying me . for reasons that shall not be mentioned . -.- whatever . going to watch Hotel For Dogs later . how wonderful . Hotel For *Dogs* :D . -cough- i'll be thinking of some other dogs throughout the movie . :] retards . -.- You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift . You're on the phone with your girlfriend She's upset. She's going off about something that you said . Cause she dosent get your humor like I do. I'm in the room It's a typical Tuesday night I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like And she'll never know your story like I do But she wears short skirts I wear T-shirts She's cheer captain And I'm in the bleachers Dreaming about the day when you wake up And find what you're looking for has been here the whole time If you could see that I'm the one who understands you Been here all along so why can't you see, you You belong with me You belong with me Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself Hey isn't this easy And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down You say your fine I know you better then that Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that She wears high heels I wear sneakers She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers Dreaming about the day when you wake up That what you're looking for has been here the whole time If you could see that I'm the one who understands you Been here all along so why can't you see You belong with me Standing by and waiting at your back door All this time how could you not know Baby you belong with me Oh' I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night I'm the one who makes you laugh When you know your about to cry And I know your favorite songs And you tell me about your dreams Think I know where you belong Think I know it's with me Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you Been here all along So why can't you see You belong with me Standing by and waiting at your back door All this time How could you not know Baby you belong with me You belong with me You belong with me Have you ever thought just maybe You belong with me You belong with me lols , taylor swift has nice songs . O: whateverrrrrrrrrrrr . :/ bye . I'm not a princess . This ain't a fairytale . I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet . Leader of the stairwell . This aint hollywood . I was a dreamer before you came and let me down . Maybe i was naive . |
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Date : Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Time : 10:43 PM waaaah . so tired. -.- today went sch . was like . 15 mins late for bio . hehe . strolled in with kimmy . :D bio was damn slacky . haha . then physics . finished the topic on lenses . :D finally . thats like last year's topic la ? -.- then rushed home . changed . wtf okay . my WHOLE house was a complete mess . 4 strangers were in my house . painting the house . -.-? then i couldn't go into any of the rooms . so had to anyhow pick a shirt and shorts from the kitchen . -.- just washed only lor . wth . then went tanah merah . met jer . mrt-ed to city hall . went fish & co at suntec for lunch . then walked to marina sq . met kimmy and her sis . walked around marina sq . then 4 of us walked to raffles city . jer bought a shirt from top man . then went food court . buy drink . then talk talk . then jer went off first . me and kimmy and her sis walked around raffles city . then kimmy and her sis had to go . -.- then i walked around raffles city for like 5 mins ? and suddenly forgot how to go citylink . amnesia . :D then finally found my way . -.- walked to esplanade . slacked awhile there . haha . then went .. suntec . meet parents . went to some chinese restaurant for dinner . saw my cousin on a date . LOL . he confirm damn paiseh one . ;X he pretend not to see us lor ! asshole . D: then went to make spare glasses and collected 3 mths supply of contacts . :D then went tpy hub to pick brother up from mindchamps . -.- reached home at about 9.45 . yawn . so tired. walked so much today . gah . the renovations are finishing . tmr last day i think . :] . i love the thinner smell. seriously . maybe i can go highhhhh . :D its like sniffing glue . but worse . LOL . funfun . :3 my whole house has that smell now lor . idk why my parents and bro hate it so much . -.- so nice . O: bye . |
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Date : Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Time : 11:20 PM and to those little dogs that come and read my blog everyday , please get over yourself . i dont really give a shit if any of you suspect that post is about , well , you . spam all you want . fuck yourself up on my blog all you want. this is my blog and i get to scold anyone i please , whenever i please . not happy, then just don't come here ever again . you can go think and gossip yourself to death about who that post was about . or fuck off . either way you'll never know . hahaha . suckers . dogs . i don't have the time and mood for your barking . piss off . goodnight . |
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Date :
Time : 11:09 PM never in my entire 15+ years of life , have i hated someone so much . i have never felt real hatred before . thanks , thank you so fucking much for allowing me to feel it . i have never ever wanted someone to be sad as much as i want you to be . i have never longed for the misery of someone this much . till now . even words cant explain how much i hate you . i absolutely hate , detest , loathe , despise , dislike , abhor , execrate you . the mere sight of you makes my blood boil and fist clench . i'm sorry but the only thing i can hope for you , is misery . misery , sadness , hopelessness , helplessness , unhappiness , suffering , distress , anguish , anxiety , torment , pain , grief , despair , heartache , dejection , depression , sorrow and many more . take your pick . i dont really care . i'm not usually this heartless . but you've made me become like this . i hate you . from the very bottom of my heart , i hate you . :] |
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Date :
Time : 10:35 PM I cry myself to sleep . Its my lullaby . I wanna scream . It makes me feel alive . Is it enough to love ? Is it enough to breath ? Rip my heart out and leave it there to bleed . Is it enough to die ? Somebody save my life . I'm going crazy but i know you're worth it . Sometimes i stay up thinking . Where do i belong forever ? In whose arms ? Its the first time i have ever felt this lonely . I wish someone could cure this pain . I wish that it would just go away . All the pain , all the thoughts lead back to you . Back and forth inside my head . I can't handle this confusion . Take me away . Even if i told you , you wouldn't understand . No one understands . When i turn the lights out , when i close my eyes , reality overcomes me . I'm living a lie . I know i wanna runaway . If only i could runaway . |
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Date :
Time : 10:17 PM ♥ everything in my house is coated with a wonderful layer of dust . awesome ! not . -.- so damn filthy . whatthehell man . :/ I need to escape . Get out of here tonight . I need to leave . Leave this place of heartbreaks and misery . It can't get any worse than this . I need to scream and lose control . I need to forget about you , forget about her , forget about him , forget about them , forget about us . I need to forget about everything and runaway . I just want to fall and lose myself . |
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Date :
Time : 9:51 PM ♥ Placing too much hope on someone is foolish and stupid . I guess i have learnt my lesson ? I'm not sure what is going on but i guess its not going to be something that i would like to know about anyway . I think its time i stop doing all these crap and let time do the work . Like i said , patience is not my speciality . But if its something worth waiting for , then , i guess i can make an exception . |
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Date :
Time : 7:58 PM ♥ I see you in my mind playing over and over again . another moody day . -.- i wonder how long is this phase going to last . ugh . i seriously have no mood for this . my god . :/ today's lessons were just as boring . excecpt that , i was damn damn damn sleepy . -.- retarded lor . lols . -.- i slept for like , 30mins during geog ? first time i slept in goeg . then eng . i wanted to sleep . but was too annoyed by the teacher . -.- she is seriously damn annoying . some teacher , i think not from my sch de . wtf man . kpkb . ppl drink plain water she also not happy lor . PLAIN water leh . -.- then we were like super noisy during the lesson. then she not happy . O: then she was like , who want leave , just leave now . dont want come here then go la . blablabla . then after awhile , me and kimmy just ran out of the class . laughed like fuck . lols . :D then went to buy milo . then just walk out of sch . heck care . -.- went tech view to wait for evelyn to finish the eng lesson . then after eating , went eve's house . slack there for awhile . drank wine also . lol . i love the warm sensation you feel in your throat and chest after drinking alcohol . so nice . :/ i want more . ~.~ then went tech view again . to meet xinyi and rosi . waited for them to eat finish . then went sch for physics . i was suddenly damn sleepy . couldn't even open my eyes lor . -.- then i close my eyes. lab always makes me extra sleepy . zz. then i splash water on my face. woke me a little. then started smsing ppl . to keep me awake . -.- after lesson , went parkway with yiting and rosi . ate snow ice again . LOL . :D after tht went Giant for awhile . then slacked opp parkway . then went home . ha . :/ nothing to do now . -.- no mood to do anything also . whole house a mess . cause of the bloody renovation . zzz . my whole house smells like .. thinner ? idk whats that smell luh . something like paint . so nice lor the smell . people the smell can make someone high . i wonder if its true . hope it is . at least can don't think at all . :/ moodless manzxcs . -.- zz . and the thumbdrive with my gossip girl is in the bloody room ? i cant even watch . tmd . whatever . bye . -.- I'll live for all my days to put a smile on your face . |
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Date : Monday, March 16, 2009
Time : 11:53 PM There's nothing i could ever say . Nothing i could ever do to make you see what you mean to me . Damn no mood today . :/ Fuck sia . My house is like . having renovation ? Then need pack this pack that . I watching gossip girl then my mom keep ask me things . I alr damn pek chek . Then she go poke poke poke me . I press wrong thing . The whole fucking episode restart . Then i was like , what you want la ? Then my dad kpkb . Say what , get out of my house now . I grab my phone and walk . Then he start shouting again . Knnccb . Ask me go out , i want go out still kpkb . -.- Then after that he scold scold scold . Then i just cannot take it anymore . Seriously la . I control my emotions for like . How many days alr . Then i just let go . Idc . I just down there cry infront of him . Fuck man . I fucking hate crying infront of people . Fuckfuckfuckfuck . -'- . How many more fucking times do i have to cry . -types every single curse word i know- -.- I know its not good to bottle up your emotions . But i don't care . I don't want to say stuff that i'll regret . I don't want to say stuff that'll make other people's life harder . Fuck . :/ I don't want to keep crying . I don't want to keep feeling miserable . I don't even know what is going on now . -.- I'm tired . Tired of pretending . Goodnight . :/ All the pain , the tears i cry . |
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Date :
Time : 8:37 PM ♥ hello . :/ moody now . just came back from downstairs . went to walk and think . :/ today had sch . super boring la k . can die . 2 more days of lessons . crap manzxc . :/ had 3 hours break time . cause i don't have chinese lessons. went parkway with kimmy . ate snow ice . super nice . :] i want more sia . :/ then went walk walk . blahs . then met xinyi and rosi . at tech view . lols . then was about to be late for physics . retarded . cause of the RAIN again la . wthells . but luckily the guard opened the side gate for us . -.- had another boring lesson . then went TM with damien , kimmy and rosi . went to buy ring . walked around while waiting for the carving . then went home . :] fell asleep in the bus . and no shihyao , i didn't miss my bus stop . in your face . :D had nothing to do at home . still have nothing to do . i'm getting pissed at really small things now . and am super paranoid suddenly . trying to calm down . :/ byeee . :/ Day after day , time pass away and i just can't get you off my mind . Nobody knows . I hide it inside . I keep on searching but i can't find the courage to show . To let you know i've never felt so much love before . But if i let you go , i will never know what my life would be holding you close to me . Will i ever see you smiling back at me ? Night after night i hear myself say , why can't this feeling just fade away ? There's no one like you . You speak to my heart . |
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Date :
Time : 12:50 AM iseriouslydontknowwhatisgoingonwithyouwithherwitheveryone. idontknowwhattodoorthinkanymore.goodnight. |
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Date :
Time : 12:46 AM fuck man . jus realised firefox can highlight everyth . and they change the font . luckily deleted latest post in time . shit . use internet explorer la ! -.- super bad mood now la pls . -'- ~ |
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Date :
Time : 12:29 AM deleted my private blog . whatever . i have nothing to say . |
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Date :
Time : 12:20 AM i'mjustsotiredalr.ihavenothingtosay. |
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Date : Sunday, March 15, 2009
Time : 9:24 PM i have no idea how i got into this mess . someone get me out . PLEASE . too much confusion . |
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Date :
Time : 5:52 PM you can spit all your insults but nothing you say is going to change anything . you can sit there and judge me . say what you want to . i don't really give a fuck . ha . boring day today . had tuition . wanted to go parkway after tuition . but was raining . so lazy . created a private blog . xinyi too . she only invite me , and i only invite her . mother and daughter secrets . :] she knows everything about me . i know everything about her . so i don't mind her reading about my true feelings . :D ah whatever . :/ currently listening to simple plan again . misery loves company . so long . you'll miss me when i'm gone . i won't look back when i say goodbye . i'm gonna leave this hole behind me . life is what happens while you're busy making your excuses . every wasted day becomes a wasted chance . i can't bite my tongue forever . while you try to play it cool . you can hide behind your stories but don't take me for a fool . you look so innocent but the guilt in your voice gives you away . so don't try to say you're sorry . don't try to make it right . don't waste your breath . cause its too late you can look into my eyes and pretend all you want . but i know you're nothing but a lie . Simple Plan rocks . :] |
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Date : Saturday, March 14, 2009
Time : 11:10 PM I just really don't know what to think anymore . Its all just so confusing . Someone please HELP me . Fuck man .. Pokerface , much ? |
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Date :
Time : 8:19 PM ♥ Tiredddddd . Went so many places today . -.- Loool. In the morning went to suntec with parents . Checked eye and stuff . Then walked to city hall . Super crowded la wtf . Push here push there . Took me more than 20 mins to get from suntec to city hall . Whatthehell . -.- Then waited at city hall for an idiot . :P Then went cathay to meet Jun, sw, John blablabla . I'm not even sure who was there lor . LOL. I only saw Jun . Say hi to them , then zao liao lor . Cause we didn't want to watch the movie . Jun so shy . LOL . Then went to China Town . Was finding a shop . Walk up and down . Walk here walk there . Until FINALLY find . SO HOT SIA ! LOL . We so blur walk pass the shop so many times . -.- And an idiot told me to post . " I lost kilos of fat today ! " One shirt $70 . lol . wtf . :X Then went Bugis to meet YiXiang and his stead . Went topman cause Joel wanted to buy shirt . Then walked around bugis street . Then the .. Yumeki ( forgot ign ) came also . Walked a bit more . Then bused to parkway . Met HuiJuan , XuanJin , ZhangYu , Chris and WeiJie . Loool . Then after that went meet parents . Tiring day sia . Walk so much . NOOB ! your fault sia ! LOL . :3 But it was a fun day . Okayyy . Bye . :] |
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Date :
Time : 12:18 AM Today has been a winding road that has taken me to places that i didn't want to go . Gotta find a way out , maybe there's a way out . Tell me where to start and tell me something i don't know . |
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Date : Friday, March 13, 2009
Time : 11:26 PM |
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Date :
Time : 11:22 PM And forget the part where i said i've made my decision . I was .. Dreaming or something . I didn't mean it . :/ Cause i'm still contemplating . -.- I keep contradicting myself sia .. :/ Just now i went crazy also . I was so angry that i anyhow shouted things . Rosi and Eve were like, " sara .. you're not making sense you know .. " I don't know what happened . I just burst . -.- After shouting all those things , i shouted even louder . " FUCK " one time . Lols . -.- At least i vented my anger . This week has been .. super extreme for me . It has been damn damn confusing . I'm still confused . I'm still not sure . :/ Whats wrong with me? GAH ! Okay bye . |
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Date :
Time : 10:21 PM ♥ Heh . Ytd, went ecp after sch . :] quite fun lor . o.o haha . Clarence also came to find Xinyi . So funny . ;3 First went mac to eat . Don't know which idiot eat until food drop all over the place . :D Hor ? LOL . Then went to the beach there . Sat at the rocks there . Then all started writing on rocks after Joel start writing . Retardedddd . O: Was like half emo half not emo ? Had fun lahs . Slacked for a few hours . All together about 9 of us went ? Me , Kimmy , Xinyi , Elonah , HuiJuan , XuanJin , Joel , Chris and Clarence . Elonah went off first though . Then Clarence and Xinyi . -cough- Then the rest of us walked to parkway . Then i went tuition while they went home . O: Ytd was a quite good day . :/ Today . Is . Friday the 13th ! >.> 2nd Friday the 13th this year . -.- The other time was the day before Valentine's Day . o_o lols . Cause Mdm Rogayah was talking about it during eng lesson . Which was first period . I was like . Slowly waiting for something bad to happen lor . But today actually quite okay . My class siao . We keep anyhow singing happy birthday . Haha . Ms Lenny , Ms Faizah and Mdm haliza thought we were crazy . :] Heeeee . :D Then Mdm Haliza's lesson was shortened . Cause of the cleaning up . But Mdm Wong used our cleaning up time to give us TEST . Wtf ? -.- Nevermind . Knew how to do it , at least . :D Haha . After that had to do cleaning . I was jus like walking around and packing my bag ? Had to bring so many books home . At least someone help me take someeee . Haha . Then went TM . Ate at seoul garden with Rosi , Eve and Damien . Ate quite alot . DD: Then bumped into HuiJian , XuanJin , WeiJie and Chris . Loool . Then walk here walk there . Went back sch to meet Ravin . Haven't see him for so long lor . Since the O lvl results thingy lor . -.- Then after that . Ran out of sch . For some reasons . Then Gerald call me to tell me what i was trying to find out So . Wasted my time ? -.- Nvm . LOL . Went throw temper in sch . X.x I just walked away from Rosi and Eve . Not cause they make me angry luh . Lol . Then saw NCC . Then went and shout at Joel for no reason . Lol . Sorry ah . Was moody . X.x Then went night lesson . Was showing attitude to everyone lor . Ppl talk to me , i jus stare . Sorry . LOL . :/ Then read book during night lesson . Then read finish the damn book . Then was so bored . -.- Then i was like staring into blank space . Not even thinking about anything lor . Just stone there . Break time , went down talk to Kimmy . She having NPCC camp. SIAN . -.- Then stone and talking abit with Rosi for the next hour . Then went down find Kimmy . :D She was incharge of this group full of sec1 pupils . And Rosi , Eve and me were like disiaoing the sec1s . Haha. That cheered me up . Seriously damn confused now . Omg.. Hais . Help me . D: |
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Date : Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Time : 9:38 PM As promised , that post is gone . Whatever . Moving on . Ytd , had no clb. Went Esplanade with Xinyi and Kimmy . Bused there . Slacked there for awhile . Then walked to suntec . Ate pasta mania . Then walked to marina sq . Walk around marina sq . Fucking bag so heavy . Ugh . Took bus 14 home . A really long ride . But quite nice to just sit there , listening to music and thinking. Went home . Then some asshole fucking pissed me off . Did A maths homework . Then walked out of my house again . Sat down there for one hour to think and listen to music in peace . Wasn't as cold as monday . I wish it was . :/ The coldness was damn nice lahs . Can't wait for december . Can go Canada again . It feels so wonderful to ski . Gliding down the pale white hill . Feeling the extremely cold wind blowing at your face . No worries at all . How completely perfect . :/ Today , felt abit better . Elonah didn't come to sch . -.- Lol . Blah . Had retarded A maths test . Cannot get A1 . Comfirm . Sianed manzxc . Was 25mins late for remedial . Had to sit on the floor . -.- Shit la . Bloody report book . Fuck . Lousy results . Today had no time to go downstairs . Nevermind . I'll go on .. sat . Tmr and friday gt things on at night . Blahs . This is the last week of sch . Doesn't feel like it . O lvls are coming . Oh shit .. Every day , every second .. Its getting closer . I wish time can just slow down and stop . I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow , a month from now or a year from now . I just want everything to freeze this way . Its not perfect . But i guess its the best i can ask for . Things can change and alter completely in just a few minutes . By just a few words and a bad decision . I've seen things change so rapidly . Too rapidly . I don't want anymore change . I'm tired of having surprises . Tired of having to accept every change and every decision someone else makes . Its so frustrating to not have a definite answer . As for me , i know i've made the right choice . The right decision . I won't regret it . If anything goes wrong , i'll treat it as a learning experience . I'm tired of regretting everything i do . Procrastination is one of my bad habits . Making up excuses , trying to lie to myself . Pretending to contemplate when i alr know the answer . Its done . I won't change my mind . These few days have been tough for me . I'll make it through . Somehow . :/ And i don't wanna fall to pieces , i just want to sit and stare at you . I don't want to talk about it . And I don't want a conversation , i just want to cry in front of you . I don't want to talk about it cause i'm in love with you . You're the only one, i'd be with till the end . |
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Date :
Time : 6:49 AM I can't end what you started . Lost in my head . |
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Date : Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Time : 7:06 PM This post is to DOREEN ANG . i say the name very BIG liao hor . so dont say i scared or what hor . Eh . You don't know what is settle isit ? Stop fucking pissing me off la hor . Use your own phone message la . Use his phone for fuck ? Please don't be so childish la . You sec 3 or primary 3 ? Not happy come sch settle la . Or you want outside sch also can . Face to face la hor . Or at least use your own number la . Kp . That day still say settle settle . Settle lan la . Kns . You dono what is settle right ? Its okay . I will fucking teach you . Don't worry . I know your english very lousy . But can be improved de . I'll teach you one word . SETTLE . Okay ? You can use that in your compo . :] & you can spam all you want . I don't really care . And please la . Spam , spam with your name la . What mary , susan . Get a life la k . Fuck off , bitch . -'- . |
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Date :
Time : 6:46 AM Like a tattoo . |
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Date : Monday, March 9, 2009
Time : 10:46 PM walao damn annoying manzxc . stupid renovation . so fucking dusty . i wanna go down again .. maybe i'll sneak out of my house later . or maybe not.. i dont know who i am anymore . i've never been like this before . ugh . i wish i can just die right now . bye . |
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Date :
Time : 10:36 PM i don't wanna wait another minute . put me out of my misery . kill me . :] thanks . |
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Date :
Time : 9:26 PM I don’t want to run away but i can’t take it, i don’t understand . If i’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that i am? Is there any way that i can stay in your arms? If i don’t need you then why am i crying on my bed? If i don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head? If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life? If you’re not for me then why do i dream of you? I don’t know why you’re so far away . I hope you are the one I share my life with . And I wish that you could be the one I die with . I hope I love you all my life . I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away . And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today . Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right . And though I can’t be with you tonight , my heart is by your side . Freak man . I feel like shit . :/ Just reached home again . Walked out of my house just now . My parents didn't ask me much , surprisingly . They just let me go . Went down . Sat there in the dark . Super cold . It felt like i was in Sydney . Shivered like crazy . But kinda nice , actually . Went down for about 1 hour . Cried for about 30 mins . Then listened to songs for about another 30 mins . Calmed myself down a little . Didn't bother thinking though . Whats there to think about now ? :/ I was a complete mess in school . I bet Yiting is scared of me now . -.- I cried right beside her . lol . Ughhh . Whatever . I don't know what to do now . I wonder if anyone can run out of tears . Cause if there is such a thing , it'll probably happen to me soon . I've got alot to say . I guess i'll start by saying I love you . And end by saying sorry . |
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Date :
Time : 6:58 PM It's like we're going through the motions of a scripted destiny. Procrastination, running circles in my head. While you sit there contemplating , people are getting hurt . Life is what happens while you're busy making your excuses. Another day, another casualty. Every wasted day becomes a wasted chance. You're gonna wake up feeling sorry, because life wont wait. I guess it's up to you. lols . horrible day . retarded . first time in my entire fucking life i cried in class. for 2 hours . first time i let so many people see me cry . fucked up la . seriously damn bad mood now. i feel like dying . Shattered on the ground . I hear the sound . Ringing in my ears . I still feel the sting of my tears . Wake me please . I'm on the wrong side of a parallel universe . Someone save me . Should have seen this coming . But i couldn't do anything . Underneath this smile , my world is slowly caving in . All the while , i was hanging on . I've been keeping everything under all these darkness . Bye . You won , i lost . Are you happy now ? |
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Date :
Time : 6:39 AM omg . my eyes damn fucking dry . had like , 3 hours of sleep last night ? -.- how the fuck to put on contacts . k nevermind . bye. -.- |
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Date : Sunday, March 8, 2009
Time : 11:02 PM Someone please wake me up . I can't seem to break free . Go on . Get out of my head . Am i alive or just dead ? I've been stumbling in the dark . Don't say one more word . Cause , at this point . The truth seems absurd . Slow motion . Devastation . Should have seen this coming . If only i could be anywhere but here . |
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Date :
Time : 10:31 PM ♥ You and i were made to love . Sometimes i wish there wasn't such a thing as love . :/ I wish i don't have a heart . A heart so completely vulnerable . So easily broken . I've been lying to myself and everyone . Telling everyone to be happy , to be less emo . To smile . But if i'm not doing that , i'm just a hypocrite , aren't i ? I don't really know what to make of all the things i've heard and seen . Everyone is telling me different things about the same thing . I don't know who to listen to . Follow my heart ? I don't even know what my heart is saying . I have always listened to my heart . This time , even my heart can't make the decision . Its so confusing . Are everything just lies ? I'm not sure , you know . But , the more i think of it , the more confused i get . Yes , i know i've been lying to myself . Hiding from the truth . Trying to listen to happy songs . Trying to smile . Trying to act cheerful . Pretending everything is fine . Its like a glass with a little too many cracks . Just sitting there in the dark . We're is looking at it . Thinking it is perfect . Until someone comes along and turn on the light . I've been fighting that person . Fighting for way too long . Fighting so that i will never have to face the truth . After using up so much energy on all these crap , i don't even have the time and mood to study anymore . There are days when i just break down . Like friday . I just sat outside the library like an idiot . Sometimes , i just don't wanna talk to anyone . Sometimes , i just wish i was invisible . I'm not stupid , you know . I can see through all the excuses . All the procrastination . I'm not sure if i mean anything . I just wanna scream and lose control . Forget about everything and run away . I just wanna fall and lose myself . I'm trying to keep my cool . I know it shows . I'm searching for the words inside my head . I can't think of anything else to say . No , actually , i can't think of anything appropriate to say . There are so many thing you will never understand . Goodbye world . :/ You said things that you can never take back . You said things you never meant . You said things that can never be forgotten nor forgived . Did i not tell you i'm not like that girl ? |
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Date :
Time : 8:36 PM If only you knew how much you mean to me . I feel pathetic. -.- Bye . Back to e maths . |
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Date :
Time : 6:53 PM PLEASE LOR . Xinyi was begging me to teach her sex positions . I obviously do not know ANY . Cause i'm oh-so-innocent . :] |
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Date :
Time : 6:46 PM Xinyi is a horny freak that thinks everyone is like her . HAHAHA . Normal ppl like me can actually go into a boy's room and not do anything with him . UNLIKE YOU . HAHAHAHAHAH . OOPS . dont kill me . HAHAHHAH . :D |
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Date :
Time : 6:36 PM W705 , LG secret or iPhone ? D: |
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Date :
Time : 5:51 PM BOO . jus reached home . wtf . so hot lor . -.o dying manzxc . i wish i was still in jer's aircon room . GAH ! his house so nice lor . so biggg . unfair . and his room is so neat . O: bleh . |
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Date :
Time : 5:07 PM Jeremy is an idiot . :D He is watching me blog . Noob . :D Stop looking la . Shooo . His hamster has a wonderful name . :D He named it Kimberly . -.- LOL . And i'm currently using his laptop . Noob ! :D Mine better . LOL . bye . :] jeremy says he hates his life |
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Date :
Time : 3:16 PM My parents said i can get a new phone . :] Hee ! I just don't know which one to get . O.o Suggestions please ? ;X |
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Date : Saturday, March 7, 2009
Time : 10:23 PM To ShihYao again , I know Jacob kept fighting for it . But , PLEASE , he FORCED Bella to kiss him . Like , what the fuck ? If Bella loves Edward , then so be it . Eh please ! There are no IFs . Edward is there and thus , Bella is with him . Jacob lost . He just can't accept it . He was too late . Bella was alr in love with Edward . Just a little too late . But still late . :] And the way Bella is attracted to Edward is more than just plain lust . Its love . L-O-V-E . Okay ? Jessica and all the other girls also lusted after Edward . But for Bella , its DIFFERENT . When he left , she was almost not human . And yes , Jacob did heal her . But then , he left her . With yet ANOTHER wound . As if losing Edward was not bad enough . Jacob had to leave Bella when she needed him the most . Jacob expects everything to return to normal , when it obviously can't . It doesn't matter how long he stayed with her . Edward will forever be in Bella's heart . And is Jacob stupid and ignorant enough to think Edward will leave Bella forever ? Edward did it cause he thought it was the best for Bella . He wanted Bella to live a happy human life . It doesn't matter . I win . Go sleep lahs ! HAHA . Laurent ! :D |
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Date :
Time : 10:02 PM AHEM . This is a reply to SHIHYAO'S POST . -cough- . Jacob sucks . I have alr READ that part of breaking dawn . He loves Bella . Edward loves her more . Edward is so sincere . So honest . So caring . So completely perfect . Which girl wouldn't want him ? And technically , Jacob ain't human . He is an ANIMAL . He turns into an animal when he gets pissed off . And he can OH-SO-EASILY hurt her . Like how Sam hurt Emily . HA . So what if Bella loves Jacob too ? She doesn't love him enough . And she has a happily-ever-after with Edward . So , DEAL WITH IT . She is going to be with him FOREVER . They are immortals . Dead won't do them apart . :] So totally awesome . But if Bella chose Jacob , they would have to die . One would have died earlier . And the other would have to suffer . Edward is perfect lahs . Accept it man . :D & I'm alice , while you're Laurent . Get used to it . You are so not a male version of Alice . You suck , just like Laurent . Got killed by , -ahem-, DOGS . :D |
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Date :
Time : 9:43 PM I'd thought you had been healing the hole in me , or at least plugging it up, keeping it from hurting me so much . I'd been wrong. You'd just been carving out your own hole . |
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Date :
Time : 9:02 PM Hmmm . I feel so dead . :/ Hah . Trying to fucking download a song . Zz . ___________________________________ Okay, found . Downloaded . -.- Heh . Bored . Talking to Rosi on msn now . Talking to her makes me feel better . Especially talking about twilight . Awesome love story . Thats true love . :] Wonderful .. If only that kind of love can exist in real life , eh ? :/ ShihYao , i hope you're reading this . Jacob sucks . So extra . ): Human and vampire love alr so hard . He must come in and extra mehhhh ? Stupid werewolf . D: Dog !! :3 Like some people . o.o HAHAHA . :D Don't kill me, monkey . :P Mmm . But whatever . The twilight saga still rocks . Amazing vocab too . Ha . Somebody turn the lights on . Somebody tell me how long this darkness and pain will last . I'd be lying if i told you this was something i could handle . |
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Date :
Time : 5:12 PM |
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Date :
Time : 12:56 PM ♥ Hello idiot ! :D Bleh . Heeee . :3 Today had physics lesson with Ms Faizah . Quite boring sia . The topic sucks man . Heat capacity . Hah . :/ Then went to tech view to find ppl . One noob play psp so lousy ! :D Kidding . :3 Then went parkway de mac . Then homeee . :D I've had him memorized for so long . If you asked me if i loved him , i'd lie . |
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Date : Friday, March 6, 2009
Time : 10:28 PM ♥ Hello . DD: . Bleh . Bored . Just came back from night lessons . Hah . Today was okay bah . :/ After school , went parkway to eat snow ice . :3 Niceeeee . :D Disturbed Xinyi like siao manzxc . :D Then met other ppl there . Slacked opp the snow ice place for awhile . Then went mac . Then went opp sch void deck slack awhile . Then went tech view . Then night lessons . I went really emo before night lessons . Even Mr Ho thought something serious happened to me . :/ Everyone was crowding around me . Bleh . After night lessons slacked in sch with Rosi and Kimmy . Walked to DnT room there . Rosi was super scared cans ? Haha . Damien scared me though . You freaking moron . Go die . :P Heh . Okkkkaaaayy , bye . I'm so addicted to the things you do . I'm so addicted to you . |
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Date : Thursday, March 5, 2009
Time : 10:23 PM I couldn't sleep . I thought of nothing else . I needed help . Everybody's telling me to move on for someone else . Ha . Fuck . Goodnight . |
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Date :
Time : 8:42 PM Hah . Back from tuition . I feel better today . For some reasons . :P Heeeee . :3 Did most of my homework during tuition . Left one question from Amaths worksheet . :] And idk what are my other homeworks . :X Forgot . Today , me, eve, kimmy and rosi spotted 2 morons dancing ! :D Nice dance moves idiots ! HAHA . Encore please . :] PATHETIC MANZXC . K BYE . :] Why do i keep running from the truth . All i ever think about is you . |
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Date :
Time : 4:48 PM Hello . :/ Horrible day . Actually not really . I don't know . Aaaagh . Not going for recess is actually nice . At least don't need see bitches that will ruin my mood . And all my friends also don't go down now-a-days . Heh . Oh , and Ms Faizah rocks . :D Her lessons so fun lor . >.> Make me laugh like siao . Except that i have to tie my hair during her lessons . D: Kayyy , update laterrrr . Bye . :] Ahhhhhhhhhh . Screw you , screw it , screw everything . |
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Date : Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Time : 10:19 PM fuck lah . have been dragging myself around the house the whole day . and giving everyone one-word answers . i seriously don't know whats wrong with me . since i came home , i've been feeling like a fucking dead person . idk why i'm so damn pissed. okay maybe i do . but whatever . bye . |